분야
hwp You ever fart and sneeze
at the same time?
You ever barf up something
you know you didnt eat?
I got sick one time
and barfed a whole shrimp.
I mean, I know I chewed it.
I got a better one.
Once, I barfed so hard
that I pulled a string bean
out of my nose.
That was gross.
Oh, thats so slimy.
Ew.
You know when you just
wake up, and youre sick,
and youre just waiting
to suck it down.
Aw, man you could hawk one
of those ten feet, easy.
No, no, no... its better
to blow them out your nose.
No, no, its better to suck.
Now, those are not
the best loogies.
My cousin hawked a loogie
from the top of the
Empire State Building.
Hit a lady in the head.
Killed her.
Hes in prison now.
In prison for snot.
Boom, boom.
Okay, you guys, come on.
We place here
in the time capsule...
The sacred shoe box.
Okay, in the sacred shoe box,
the things we do not understand,
to be opened again when all
the mysteries of the universe
have been revealed to us.
Whos first? Kevin.
I found it in my moms secret
drawer, in this plastic box.
I know what this is.
It goes in the bottom of
the bathtub to stop the drain.
No, it doesnt.
Its a diaphragm.
It prevents the passage
of sperm into the uterus...
in girls.
How do you know that?
I saw it on Nightline.
Im telling you, Frank,
it goes in the bottom
of the bathtub.
I think its
a travel drinking cup.
Shell never miss it.
Wait, dont drink out of it
until we know what it is.
Yeah.
Brad.
I found it in my sisters room.
I believe its
some kind of weapon.
A picture of my dead mother.
How come youre
putting it in the box?
Because I dont know why
my dad keeps all of her pictures
hidden in the attic, and tells
me she looked like Grace Kelley.
Whos Grace Kelley?
Oh, she was a very famous clown.
She was a princess.
And, also...
I dont know what
its like to have a mother.
We could tell you.
You cant tell somebody
something like that.
Have you ever noticed
that girls dont fart?
My mom farts.
Looks like a boob.
Yeah.
Make them fly around.
My boobs bigger than yours.
Lets see if you can
catch my boob.
Youve got, like,
a mosquito bite boob, Frank.
Why dont girls spit?
Theyre hiding
something from us.
The rules have changed.
Gotcha.
Its a battle of the sexes...
and believe me,
we are way behind.
Shit!
I cant dance.
You see this, Frank?
This little seedling
represents an entire species
of marsh grass.
If it lives,
the wetlands will survive,
Mortlake turtle can return
to its natural habitat,
and birds like the glossy ibis
wont lose another
precious nesting place.
Dad, if you dont get dressed,
well be late for school.
Dad, if you dont get dressed,
well be late for school.
Hey, hey, look at this.
You won a prize.
Yeah.
What is that?
Homework.
Theyre assigning Cosmopolitan
as homework?
No, they assigned this,
but Im getting nowhere with it.
You cant relate that
to the real world.
Like how?
Like, was Mom a virgin
when you married her?
What are you studying, religion?
Sex.
Are you going to tell me
about Mom or not?
No.
Boy, thats good coffee.
Fresh brewed?
Instant.
Now, how bout
if you love someone?
Do you have to have sex
with them?
This cant be instant.
We ran out of beans.
And if you kiss a girl,
what base is that,
and wheres the birth canal?
I have a chart.
You never have to have sex
if you dont want to,
kissing a girls first base,
the birth canals right there,
and you shouldnt have sex
unless youre in love
and probably married.
Why not?
I dont remember--
it has something to do
with not wanting to have babies
with people you dont know.
It says in this magazine
that theres a spot on
a woman you can touch
to drive her completely insane.
I dont think
the magazines a good idea.
And in my experience,
there is no such place.
Dad.
What?
When I grow up, do I have
to have hair all over my body?
You saw your sister
naked in the shower?
Sort of.
I was hiding
in the laundry basket.
Hey, Stacey.
Hi, Brad.
I saw you in
the drug store yesterday.
You were buying Juicy Fruit gum.
Are you going to
the dance Saturday?
Its a s sock hop,
you know.
Im thinking of going
to the dance.
Can I wear
your jacket today, Brad?
Oh, come on,
what do you want for it?
I want to take you
to the closet...
No way!
You are so bad.
Whatd you say to her?
I told her what I wanted.
I dont think
shes that kind of girl.
Shes a girl, Frank.
All girls are
that kind of girl.
She didnt used to be a girl.
Hey, guys.
What are we looking at?
Whats that?
I think its an elbow.
Whats it doing
with that other elbow?
Doesnt look like anything
I ever want to do,
thats for sure.
Will you stop cleaning?
Why do you do that?
My dad demands complete
order and sanitation.
I know a place where the girls
are naked all the time,
where guys can see naked girls
all they want, hours a day
for anyone with guts
and a hundred bucks.
I dont believe
such a place exists.
Where is this?
What are you talking about?
The city.
Were not allowed
