분야
hwpTired of the same old you?
Tired of being out of shape
and out of luck with the opposite sex?
Tired of being overweight
and under-attractive?
Yeah.
Oh, hello.
Im White Goodman, owner, operator
and founder of Globo Gym America Corp.
Im here to tell ya that you dont have
to be stuck with what youve got.
Hey, Rory. Looking good.
At Globo Gym we that understand "ugliness"
and "fatness" are genetic disorders,
much like baldness or necrophilia,
and its only your fault if you dont hate
yourself enough to do something about it.
Thats where we come in.
Globo Gym employs
a highly trained, quasi-cultural staff
of personal alteration specialists.
With our competitively priced
onsite cosmetic surgery,
we can turn that Frankenstein
you see in the mirror every morning
into a Franken-fine.
Of course, youll still be you in a legal sense,
but think of it as a thinner,
more attractive, better you
than you could ever become without us.
How do I know?
Well, Im not only the founder of Globo Gym,
Im also a client.
Thats me, six years and lbs ago,
before I knew how much I hated myself.
That all changed once I founded Globo Gym.
But dontjust take my word for it. Listen
to these Globo gymers tell you how it is...
That feels good.
Oh, the tickle machine.
Crash, no. Crash, out.
Bad dog. No grundle.
Come on down and join the winning team,
because here at Globo Gym,
were better than you.
And we know it.
Spare me.
Mr La Fleur, this is Doris
from the Department of Water and Power.
Weve been trying to reach you,
but your phone was disconnected.
Well be shutting off
your water and power at pm today
due to an eight-month overdue account.
Thank you and have a nice day.
This is Seth from Videorama.
The following DVDs are now overdue.
Drunken Hussies Backdoor Patrol
and Mona Lisa Smile. Thank you.
Come on, baby, be there.
Be there.
Its gonna be a good day.
Im proud of you.
Were just around the corner.
My gyms here. I promise were almost there.
You guys are lifesavers.
I appreciate the effort.
Dont pull a hammy over it.
Gimme that garbage.
Shouldnt you be on a treadmill?
Hey, Peter.
- Hows my little tax shelter this morning?
- Everythings shipshape.
Dont hold out on me. Whats happening?
Its just Im trying
this new voicemail-dating thing.
And, like, no ones even left me a message,
and its been almost two months.
Theres someone out there for everybody.
- You think?
- Absolutely.
In some cases, theres two somebodies for
one person. I like to call that "the jackpot".
See you later, dater.
- Hey, Peter.
- Hey, Gordon.
- Im wailing on my glutes.
- Sounds great.
Im gonna shock the biceps later,
then some cardio. Keep the body guessing.
- I like to keep my body guessing.
- Sure. I wanted to ask you something.
- Did you catch the game last night?
- Can I say yes?
Amateur curling championships
on ESPN .
- I had no idea.
- You missed a doozy. Really great stuff.
I feel dumb for asking,
but how did you hear about it?
- OSQ. Obscure Sports Quarterly.
- Of course, the OSQ.
Started reading it in college, for the chicks.
- Im glad that worked out for you.
- Thanks, Peter.
- Bye.
- Love the orange and love the headphones.
When I come back,
I want you on a different machine.
- You need a spot?
- Im cool, Pete.
OK, come on. Lets get this out of here.
You OK?
- Youre like a human Chinese puzzle.
- Thanks, Pete.
All that weight is dangerous.
Itll be worth it when I make the cheerleading
squad. Prove to Amber that Im not a loser.
Hang on a second. You wanna become
a cheerleader to prove you are not a loser?
Yeah. Why?
Nothing. High schools
changed a bit since I was a kid.
Plus, all anyone ever remembers is
what happened at last years tryouts.
Im the laughing stock of the school.
Im sure its not that big of a deal.
What happened at last years tryouts?
Justin Redmond. Ready and super-psyched.
- Hey, Amber.
- Hi, Justin. Good luck.
Good luck to you, making yourjudgments.
And from the girls line,
we need girl number
Martha Johnstone.
Toss to hands, liberty and cradle out, OK?
Im not wearing any panties.
Ready? One, two.
Liberty, ready?
- Dude.
- Can he breathe?
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- It was the worst.
- Dont worry about this Amber situation.
- Itll all work itself out in the end.
- Thanks, Pete.
Youll laugh at this one day.
Im laughing.
Go at your own pace.
Thats what its there for.
- Who goes there?
- Its me. Its Peter.
Tis about the matter of payment
for me membership.
Steve be a touch short this month.
Thats all right.
Just pay me when you get the money.
The dread pirate Steve be in no mans debt.
Ill make a barter with you.
In exchange for your kindness,
Ill be splitting me buried treasure with you.
Once I find it, that be.
Im flattered by the gesture, but
a couple of bucks here and there will be fine.
Thanks, Peter.
- Ill be on the StairMaster.
- OK, Steve.
- Next time, maybe just say "hello".
- Gar.
Hello.
Its not my birthday till next month,
but terrific.
Im so sorry. Hi.
Im Katherine Veatch with Hawthorne Stone.
- Your bank?
- Right. My bank.
- You are
