first light.
REPORTER 2: As a Saudi national,
Osama bin Laden offered his services
to the Royals.
REPORTER 3:
He told them he could
bring his army
from Afghanistan
to repel the Iraqi invaders
from Kuwait.
NARRATOR 10: But the Saudis
had a better offer.
A half-million troops
from the United States.
His offer rejected,
Osama took to the streets
and mosques to denounce the U.S. ,
the Royal Family
an
mosques. A moment of triumph. He dials his cell phone...
MIKE WALLACES VOICE (OVER)
Hello?
LOWELL
(into phone)
Mike, its me. Were on...
AND WE HEAR PEOPLE LAUGHING AND ENCOURAGING "GO AHEAD...
OPEN IT..."
INT. A LABORATORY, BROWN & WILLIAMSON, LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY
- DAY
Were in a SCIENCE LABORATORY... OUT OF FOCUS LAB
TECHNICIANS, in white lab coats, celebrating a heavyset Black
womans birthday..
first settlement in
the New World, and the activities
there of your servant, Christopher
Columbus, Admiral of the Ocean Sea,
Governor of that Island. You will
remember with what hopes and
promises he beguiled us -- the truth
is that he now presides over a state
of chaos, degradation and madness
beyond imagining.
SANCHEZ punctuates each word carefully.
SANCHEZ
From the beginning, Columbus proved
h
first time
in the history of this country
the political sovereignty
and political power have been bestowed
upon the Democratic Party
of the People of Afghanistan.
This will get bloody
before it gets better.
Usually a safe bet.
They say the Communists are
starting brawls at the university.
A student was stabbed last week.
Im glad Amirs too young
to be involved in all this.
Amir?
Trust me, he wont
his troops.
OFFICER
Dis-mount!
RIDERS climb down from their mounts... and only now do we realize that this is a TROOP OF BOY SCOUTS, all of them about thirteen years of age. The "Commanding Officer" is only their SCOUTMASTER, Mr. Havelock.
One of the Scouts, a pudgy kid named HERMAN, steps away from his horse, bends over and pukes. The other Scouts rag on him.
FIRST SCOUT
Hermans horsesick!