G.I. JANE
??
by
David Twohy
FIRST DRAFT
August 6, 1995
??
FADE IN:
INT. SENATE HEARING ROOM - CAPITOL BLDG. - DAY
Blinding in their white uniforms, naval flag officers sit
in the audience, showing their support for THEODORE HAYES,
a 50-year-old civilian. This is his confirmation hearing.
Reading from prepared material:
HAYES
... last few years have brought many
advances in the interests of women
white business card: 1-900-WET-4-COCK
Ben smiles, begins to dial out when suddenly, RING RING! The cell comes to
life in his hand.
BEN
(startled)
Jesus.
(answers call)
Hello?
VOICE
Hello.
BEN
Who is this?
VOICE
Who is this?
At this point we know who the caller is. Its the nightmarish
deep voice weve all come to know and hate from the first two
films. Its never sounded so evil. So sexy.
BEN
Wel
white socks, then the red shorts, the AC/DC T-shirt, then we hear the familiar, "Huh huh huh." - only its a huge sound...this is a THREE-HUNDRED FOOT TALL BUTT-HEAD. "Butt-Kong" continues his path of destruction - stomping on cars and buildings and saying, "This is cool. Huh huh huh."
Airplanes and tanks start firing at Butt-Head (Butt-Kong). He looks irritated and says, "Cut it out butt-munch!"
REINDEER GAMES
by Ehren Kruger
FADE IN:
A FIGURE IN A SANTA CLAUS SUIT
lies face-down in a nighttime expanse of snow. One of the bodys
red-sleeved arms is twisted at a sickening angle. The white snow
beneath the figure is spreading with red.
REVEAL EXT. SNOWY ROAD - NIGHT
The figure in the suit lies motionless. Snowflakes drift.
INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT
Dark, rustic wood, an office with broken window
white ass in a crack.
And you know there
isnt any Doctor Detroit.
You just pissed
away the money.
Please, I know what I did.
I am trying to
figure a way out!
Yeah, okay, okay, well,
you just remember that you
didnt spend any
of that money on me.
It doesnt matter, bro.
You are in this with me.
Im not going down alone.
Wait a second, man,
what are you talking about?
Its not my fault that you spent