reads
ICE PRINCESS, continues into her mike. An Elegant Lampost
Clock, near the stage, ticks fifteen minutes till seven. *
ICE PRINCESS
Its time for tonights Lighting
of the Tree! How bout that!
The merry Consumers stop to watch the Ice Princess scurry *
to an IMMENSE VIBRANTLY MULTI-COLORED BUTTON and press it
down. This causes a mammoth Christmas Tree to light up.
The crowd erupts in aahs and o
ready for the movers
the day after...
- Mom, I can do my own packing.
- You see? He can do his own packing.
- Damn, where are my keys?
- I think I saw them over here!
Thank you. Bye. Just do it, Jake.
Seventy-two. By flying in a V-formation
a flock of geese adds 72% more
flying range than if each bird flew alone.
Something about uplift.
1,392.
The number of useless facts in your head.
Miles from
ready, dickhead.
EXT. TREE HOUSE - SAME TIME
Jeff and Kenny walk off.
KENNY
They??re fucking dead!
Jeff runs off screen and throws up.
INT. FISHER HOME - KITCHEN - MORNING
LEONARD FISHER (12), severely obese, sits at the dinner
table, eating pancakes.
His FATHER, PATRICK (35) and TWO YOUNGER SISTERS, HALEY (8)
and SARA (6) are seated with him. They are all overweight.
2.
(CONTINUED)
LEONARD??S MO
reading magazines?
Yeah, it takes it out of ya.
Can we take the hovercraft? Please?
lts too dangerous.
- Besides, someone may see you.
- [both] Please?
All right, you can take it
if you can find it.
Yes!
l hid it so good this time,
theyre never...
Thanks, Nani.
Aw! l gotta find
a better hiding place for that thing.
[Stitch]
Whoa! Whoa!
Theres no place Id rather be
[chorus in Hawaiian]
Lingering i
poor living room.
JANE
Itll take a month to probate the will,
Nell! A month! Even if Mother left you
something, you wont get it in time to
pay the rent. So instead of complaining,
you should be thanking Lou for getting
you these two weeks to get Mothers
things packed.
At first we cant even see who shes yelling at. At first we
dont even notice her. Then we do...
Holding herself, in a dim corner aw
read.
Im very sorry, sir.
You are most welcome to borrow
any book ofmine that takes your fancy.
No. I wouldnt want the other servants
to think I was getting above myself.
No. I cant eat any ofthis.
-Ill ask Mrs. Kent to coddle some eggs.
-No, thats all right.
Areyou quite sureyou dont want
to tell me howyou got those scars?
Im sorry. I wont askyou again.
Leave the tray.
Would you ask Poole...
to
reading
material, try and get a rise out of her
while you contemplate whether or not
shes worth hitting on.
IKE
No, I cant hit on you until I get an
idea.
She starts throwing darts.
WOMAN
Thats flattering.
IKE
No, you dont understand.
The Woman goes to her bar stool, gathering her bag and leaves a
tip for the Bartender.
WOMAN
I think I do understand. So my not
responding to your baiting me
poor ratings.
Since this show was the only thing
I had going for me in my life,
- I have decided to kill myself.
- So, whatd she say?
Im going to blow my brains out, right
on this programme, a week from today.
- Ten seconds to commercial.
- So tune in next Tuesday.
That should give the public-relations
people a week to promote the show.
We ought to get a hell of a rating
out of that. A share, eas
read for Barry Wolf?
Hey, why are we skipping on the fries? Come on, load me up.
Barry Wolf read me once for this commercial,
he was licking me with his eye the whole time.
They dont call him the Wolf who cried Boy for nothing.
You know, he wouldnt even see me for that
crappy TV Wacky Gay Neighbour thing?
Whats that about? Im gay, Im wacky
Maybe youre not neighbourly.
Fuck you. Im Donna Reed on a
read your policy, Mr. Myers?
- I have a daughter.
- Im sorry, you should have read your policy.
- Four people are facing ruin.
- You should have read your policy, mate.
- Its a wonderful painting.
- Did you read your policy, Mr. Myers?
- Yes it said fully comprehensive.
- Excepting Acts of God.
Theres the thing. It doesnt say
anywhere what an Act of God is.
Its because its widely understood.
Its