chapter 7. Why things get worse
분야
hwp▪ Getting to know you : The myth.
▪ Getting to know you : The Reality
▪ A big deal about nothing
▪ Complementary schismogenesis
▪ The paradox of Love and Marriage
chapter 7. Why things get worse ?
▪ Why do things often get worse instead of better ?
(conversational style in close relationship.)
:1) communication is inherently ambiguous 2) conversational styles differ
3) we don't realize 1) and 2), so we expect to be understood.
-The more contact people have with each other, the more opportunities both have to do things in their own way and be misunderstood.
Talk things out!
≫But if different ways of talking are casing a problem, talking more is likely to intensify the style that is causing the other to react.
-problem1. We want so badly for communication to be perfect at home.
:►Primary relationships have replaced mere survival as the foundations of our lives, and we have come to see communication as the corner stone of that foundation.
-problem2. Feeling misunderstood by this person is upsetting because of the metamessage about the relationship.
