Jackass Script
Hi. Im Johnny Knoxville.
Welcome to Jackass.
Hello. Im Johnny Knoxville
and Im about to rent a car.
Whats up?
Uh, I have a reservation.
Okay, I need a drivers license and a credit card.
All right.
I need a signature here
that youre going to use your coverage instead of ours.
Is that white one us?
Yes.
Were gonna walk around and inspect it together.
Looks pretty good.
Im just lookin
Mighty Aphrodite Script
Woe unto man.
Brave Achilles, slain in trial by blood.
For prize, the bride of Menaleas,
and father of Antigone, ruler of Thebes,
self-rendered sightless by lust for expiation,
lost victim of bewildered desire.
Nor has Jasons wife fared better,
giving life, only to reclaim it, in vengeful fury.
For to understand the ways of the heart
is to grasp as clearly the malice or in
Max Script
George.
So glad you like it.
Rothman?
Whos this Rothman?
Max Rothman.
Isnt his father in shoes?
- Think so.
- Shoes or frocks.
Shoes, frocks, or stocks.
The Duke of Westminster used
to own a spaniel called "Jew"--
except when his Rothchild
banker came over.
Then they called him "Joe."
Oo-ooh, champagne.
Max.
Why are you wasting this divine
tipple on these swine?
lnsecurity, I suppose.
Noises Off Script
Curtains going up!
Curtains going up!
A big Broadway opening.
Everybody whos anybody
in New York is here tonight.
Everybody but one man.
This man. Me.
Where are you going?
Didnt you direct this?
I just have to... One or two things.
Get out of this theatre!
- Is anything wrong with your seat?
- Its facing the stage!
Its going to be a disaster.
I cant just sit there and watch.
Fiv
Melinda And Melinda Script
The essence of life isnt comic.
lts tragic.
Theres nothing intrinsically funny about the terrible facts of human existence.
l disagree. Philosophers call it absurd because, in the end, all you can do is laugh.
Human aspirations are so ludicrous and irrational.
l mean, if the underlying reality of our being was tragic,
my plays would make more than yours,
because my stor
DR. BURTON, the Chief Psychiatrist moves down the old hallway, face tense. He steps through a doorway into...
INT. MAXIMUM SECURITY - NIGHT
Security cells. Criminal maniacs sealed behind protective casings.
A GUARD stands before a heavy door.
GUARD
Hell of a night, huh Doc?
BURTON
Hells in here.
Hydraulics HISS. The cell door unseals.
INT. SECURE ISOLATION CELL
Manhattan Script
"Chapter one. "
"He adored New York City.
He idolised it all out of proportion. "
Uh, no. Make that "He romanticised it
all out of proportion. "
"To him,
no matter what the season was,
this was still a town
that existed in black and white
and pulsated to the great tunes
of George Gershwin. "
Uh... no. Let me start this over.
"Chapter one. "
"He was too romantic about Manhatta
DEVON (voice-over): Once upon a time in a far off land lived a girl and her mother and father. Their village was surrounded by a high wall. Outside the wall was the forest, home of Babi Yaga, the witch. Babi Yaga had iron teeth to cut through trees. His legs were chicken legs and he ate little girls for dinner. But inside the wall, the girl was safe.
SCENE TWO
TRENT is mowing the lawn and stops
Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius Script
You better have a look at this, sir.
- Commercial flight. - No. Too fast, sir.
- One of our own? - Air Force has nothing scheduled.
Weve got ourselves a bogey.
Orange Leader to Delta Group, anticipate visual contact...
now.
Holy cow pie!
Hi. Nice antiques.
Gotta blast.
Fusion mix, stable. Engines cycling at one million gigajoules.
Cool. We didnt blow up.
Great.
Ji
Michael Palin: Hello, good evening and welcome to the Ronald Reagan Memorial Bowl, here in the pretty little L.A. suburb of
Hollywood. Well, were about to go in all for wrestling, brought to you tonight, ladies and gentlemen, by the makers of Scum,
the worlds first ever combined hair oil, foot ointment, and salad dressing. And the makers of Titan, the novelty nuclear
missile! You never know wh