promotion of mine.
Or those basketball tickets?
All right. Well do it some other time.
Okay, then.
No.
Hey, let me give you a hand. Just hand me your staple gun.
- The... what? - The staple gun.
- Its right behind you. - Oh! Staple gun.
Thank you. You are really saving me here.
Youre welcome. I love this whole Choose Happiness thing.
Yeah. Its based on the classic philosophical concept...
that ha
promotion.
No. Shot in the shoulder.
- Well, at least you lived. Thats important.
- Meredith lived. Thats whats important.
Whats got four eyes and cant see?
- What?
- Mississippi.
Never, never, never, I say
Cos the Ku Klux Klan is here to...
- Big building for a small town.
- Yeah.
Howdy.
Good morning. My names Alan Ward.
Im with the FBI.
Federal Bureau of Integration?
- In that get-up, you aint
score some more.
Chuckles Ooh!
Hey, you. Im sorry Im late. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Yeah, all right. Go on.
Woman Who wants drinks? Drinks, drinks, drinks.
- " Man Yeah, I like that.!" - " Woman Bring it on.!"
Hey, Dave. Hey, Carlos.
- Hola, "Kelly." - Think you could put a little something ex-tra in my drinks?
I know ex-actly what you need.
- "There you go." - Whistling
If anyone else
promote the show.
We ought to get a hell of a rating
out of that. A share, easy.
- Listen, uh, did you hear that?
- What was that about?
Howard just said he was going to
blow his brains out next Tuesday.
- What?
- Didnt you hear?
Whats wrong now?
Howard just said he was going
to kill himself next Tuesday.
What do you mean, Howard said
hes gonna kill himself next Tuesday?
He was supposed to do a t
scores.
FEDORCHUK
I remember where I was -- pissing
off my balcony at the neighbors
dog!
Others laugh.
ALTEREZ
(yells at Crais on TV)
Get to the goddamn ball scores!
ON THE TV SCREEN, an on-location interview with a CAL-TECH
PROFESSOR comes up. Her name and title appear across the
bottom of the screen.
CAL-TECH PROFESSOR
From the time mankind first gazed up
at the stars there had been
speculation
score in the country.
Congratulations!
Does that mean that lve been accepted
into Heidelberg?
Yes. lf you prefer to spend your summer
with corpses...
...instead of with young men.
Grombeks course in anatomy
is the very best.
A test of will.
Really intensive. Fully focused.
l wanted to go to ltaly,
but this is obviously--
This is such a chance, with your talent!
And you want to go
to ltaly for the
promotion. Its not great?
- Guess wholl do my job. - Youre going to do it all?
- Will they give you more money? - Its more of a prestige thing.
Theyll probably give me a plaque or a certificate for being so great.
Thats ridiculous. We hardly ever see you. Cant you say no?
Yes, if you want to catch your own food. Dont worry. Itll be okay.
Ill go check on the water heater.
Jennifer Kinney.
Ill seek
promotion.
Can you believe that?
Five years and Im finally doing it.
That looks so good.
[SPEAKING IN JAPANESE]
LYLE: Theres only one guy on your team.
Is it Joe DiMaggio or Ted Williams?
MAN: Yankee Clipper.
Sweetest swing in the game.
LYLE:
How about this one:
- Bette Davis or Rita Hayworth?
- Ooh!
- Ha-ha-ha. Ill take them both.
- In your dreams.
[SPEAKING IN JAPANESE]
Come and get it. Hot dog
score,
and l finally met him there
at LiFe magazine,
and l finally sat down
to play him.
We had not been there long,
and Bill said,
Come on. Lets play.
l went in the arcade
and sat down with Donkey Hong,
and l beat him to a pulp.
Well, l was better
than the best.
And l got--
l got 200,OOO against Bill.
Bill got 800,OOO
on his first man in that game.
He shellacked me.
He shellacked me.
Basically,
Promoted at last from the vice detail?
How incredibly well you look, James.
Time, my dear M,
does not exist within these walls.
- They aint for real.
- Yes, a far cry from our embattled world.
In my day
spying was an alternative to war.
The spy was a member
of a select and immaculate priesthood,
vocationally d-devoted,
sublimely disinterested.
Hardly a description
of that sexual acrobat
who leave