The 40 Year Old Virgin Script
[A Life Of Illusion playing]
Whats up, dude?
Hey, Joe. Hey, Sara.
How you doing?
When you going to
get a car?
Hey, why dont you
get a car?
I cant afford it.
So, Survivor tomorrow night.
See you then.
Ill bring a soda.
Hey, enjoy your orange.
Okay, take care.
See you. Bye-bye.
That guy needs to get laid.
August 6, 1995
INT. SENATE HEARING ROOM - CAPITOL BLDG. - DAY
Blinding in their white uniforms, naval flag officers sit
in the audience, showing their support for THEODORE HAYES,
a 50-year-old civilian. This is his confirmation hearing.
Reading from prepared material:
... last few years have brought many
advances in the interests of women
Kids In The Hall: Brain Candy Script
Hey! Hey! Hey! Show some respect you homeless piece of shit!
Smile! Its free!
Okay, I am going to tell you a story now about how people...
Iike that sad, pathetic prick back there, found happiness.
But it is not a happy story, oksa?
I mean, why do people think that life should always be happy? You Know?
Because when I was a little boy, my mother used to sing m
The boy looks up, confused and frightened, concerned to see his mother crying in public. She looks at him tenderly.
Her brow furrows. She stops crying. She stares just above his eyes.
Somethings happening: she looks with wonder at the top of his head... his eyes roll upward, trying to see - its a crown!
He raises his hands. He touches it.
A beam of light illuminates the crown, casting its glow
Credits run in counterpoint through a 7 to 10 minute sequence of
documentary images setting the tone of John F. Kennedys Presidency and
the atmosphere of those tense times, 1960 through 1963. An omniscient
narrators voice marches us through in old time Pathe newsreel fashion.
January, 1961 - President Dwight D. Eisenhowers
Farewell Address to the Nation -