Kids In The Hall: Brain Candy Script
Hey! Hey! Hey! Show some respect you homeless piece of shit!
Smile! Its free!
Okay, I am going to tell you a story now about how people...
Iike that sad, pathetic prick back there, found happiness.
But it is not a happy story, oksa?
I mean, why do people think that life should always be happy? You Know?
Because when I was a little boy, my mother used to sing m
foot length of rubber seal
with foam backing.
This countrys going to the dogs.
Nobody cares.
"I just work here." Thats the attitude.
Buy junk, sell junk, eat junk.
$ . .
- Dont want it.
- Thats what you asked for.
Who are you working for? The Japanese?
- If you dont want it, just say so.
- Just said so. Dont want it.
Look. Made in Japan.
I dont want my hard-earned...
...American dollars converted
elephant tusk falls from the sky
and crashes onto the parched ground. The earth-shuddering
impact causes the tusk to rebound once in slow motion before
finally settling to the desert floor in a cloud of dust.
The first tusk is quickly followed by a second, also dropping
from the heavens. It lands near the first. Another tusk
smashes to earth several yards away. Yet another comes crashing
into the
elephant - peeling
inward revealing RED AND GREEN STRIPING on the outside.
A huge wing section RIPS through the structure - barely
missing Jacob - taking the greyhaired mans head clean off -
nailing the stewardess in the gut and shoving her body across
and out the other side of the cabin.
And Jacobs seat drops down - sending him and us into:
EXT. SKY - NIGHT
Like an intricate ballet, Jacob, h
foot of the Mayan pyramids. "
This is a cruise.
Thats right.
Deluxe accommodations.
All right,
whered you get these?
Do you remember a guy named No-Neck?
They finally busted him.
He gave me the tickets
in lieu of the cash he owed me.
Now, wait a minute.
Somebody owed you money?
How dumb
do you think I am?
What are you gonna do? Stay cooped up
in this mausoleum you call home?
- Youre still alive.