horse open sleigh
Dawn, come see what
Santa brought you!
Oh, Christ, Im comin.
Please, Howard, try to get
through this without a fight.
I cant stand another one,
not on Christmas.
I better get them
cha-cha heels.
How very sweet of you, dear.
Merry Christmas, honeybunch.
Hey, wonder what this could be.
A fishing rod?
Wont you join us in a carol
before we open our gifts?
Oh, mother!
Ah, come on, Da
to ask you
about Richard III...
...what would you remember about it?
To be honest, I really dont remember
that much, if anything at all.
Did you know that Richard III
had a deformed arm and a deformed back?
- No, I didnt.
- You didnt know that?
The play, Richard III,
about the guy with the humpback?
- No.
- You got me there.
Mm-mm.
He was a humpback? "A
horse. A horse. My kingdom for a horse"?
-
horse and buggy days -
- at Woodman, but thats ancient history.
Anyway I know something about retirement.
And what I wanna say... -
- to you out loud, Warren, for all of these young hotshots can hear.
Is that all those gifts over there... -
- dont mean a goddamn thing.
And this dinner doesnt mean a goddamn thing.
And the social security in pension, dont mean a goddamn thing.
None of these superfi
horses!
Oh, Lord love a duck!
Shut up! Im on my way.
Its no good you going on. I cant
open sardines and answer the phone.
Ive only got one pair of feet. Hello?
Yes, but theres no one here, love...
No, Mr Brents not here.
He lives here, yes, but not now
because he lives in Spain.
Yes, Philip Brent, who writes plays,
only now he writes them in Spain.
Shes in Spain, too. They all are.
Am I in Spain?
painted. He receives and approves a huge
fresh salmon.
EXT. PORTOBELLO ROAD - DAY
WILLIAM (V.O.)
So this is where I spend my days
and years -- in this small village in
the middle of a city -- in a house
with a blue door that my wife and I
bought together... before she left
me for a man who looked like Harrison
Ford, only even handsomer...
We arrive outside his blue-doored house just off Portob