stories
start off this way?
I need your help. If I dont get these TVs
off the truck, man, I dont get paid.
Oh, this sounds illegal.
No, no, no. Charlie, this is totally legit, man.
I know the guy.
Just like you knew the guy...
...who asked you to drive
his dogs up from Florida. Remember him?
Im supposed to know a bunch of greyhounds
were being used to smuggle diamonds?
Look, man, I need your help
One Fine Day Script
DAVID LETTERMAN
Heres what it is. I heard that my, my
son David Jr., you met Dave Jr. on the
last -- This is great news. I heard now,
I was notified Sunday that David Jr.
will be tried as a juvenile for grand
theft auto.
VOICE
Dial 911.
SAMMY
Mommy. Mom?
MELANIE
Hmm?
SAMMY
Im really thirsty, Mommy.
MELANIE
Okay.
MELANIE
Okay? Okay, sweetie. Mmm. Good night.
SAMMY
W
stories.
- I havent earned anything yet. - Just dig right in.
I met Dwight while doing a story on Cooperton.
Dwights a jerk.
What exactly are you into?
Im not into talking while Im eating.
Heres your room.
Ours is downstairs, but youve got the best view in the house.
Go ahead. Open it.
Its a welcome gift.
You can open it later, if you like.
I bought you some things. Some clothes, some socks...
..
stories below.
The neighbours heard,
as they usually did...
the arguing of the tenants...
and it was not uncommon
for them...
to threaten each other
with a shotgun...
or one of the many handguns
kept in the house.
Im going to put you down!
And when the shotgun
accidentally went off...
You asshole!
Sydney just happened to pass.
What?
Shut the fuck up!
Added to this,
the tenants turned out to be...
Me Myself And Irene Script
I got a star on my car and one on my chest
A gun on my hip and the right to arrest
Im the guy whos the boss on this highway
So watch out what youre doin when youre drivin my way
If you break the law youll hear from me l know
Im working for the state Im the highway patrol
Well, you know me when you see me cause my doors painted white
My siren a- screamin and my flashin r