분야
hwp DAVID LETTERMAN
Heres what it is. I heard that my, my
son David Jr., you met Dave Jr. on the
last -- This is great news. I heard now,
I was notified Sunday that David Jr.
will be tried as a juvenile for grand
theft auto.
VOICE
Dial 911.
SAMMY
Mommy. Mom?
MELANIE
Hmm?
SAMMY
Im really thirsty, Mommy.
MELANIE
Okay.
MELANIE
Okay? Okay, sweetie. Mmm. Good night.
SAMMY
Wait! Theres one more sip left.
MELANIE
Half a sip. You dont need it. Good
night.
SAMMY
I do need it. I do need it, Mommy.
MELANIE
Okay. Now, good night for real, okay?
SAMMY
Good night, Mom.
MELANIE
Night-night, honey.
SAMMY
Im really excited about the field trip
tomorrow. I love big boats.
MELANIE
Thats good.
SAMMY
The Circle Line is big, right?
MELANIE
Yeah.
SAMMY
Good. Mom?
MELANIE
Shhh. Sleepy time now.
SAMMY
Is Daddy coming to my soccer game
tomorrow?
MELANIE
Hes gonna try, Sammy. Honey, do you
remember when I explained to you that
daddy has a, uh, different schedule than
a lot of other daddies?
SAMMY
Yeah.
MELANIE
Well, musicians, they dont always know
exactly when theyre gonna get a chance
to play? So, uh, theres a chance he
might not come tomorrow.
SAMMY
But hes gonna try?
MELANIE
Yeah, hes gonna try. I love you a
million, billion, zillion.
SAMMY
Do you love him? Huh, Mommy?
MELANIE
I will always love your daddy because he
gave me you. Now go to sleep.
SAMMY
I cant sleep, Mom. I had a bad dream.
MELANIE
In just two minutes, you already fell
asleep and had a bad dream?
MELANIE
Ow! Oh, sweetie. Oh, shoot.
RADIO
I dont even think I knew her. No, I had
no idea. I divorced her.
KRISTEN
Hi, Jack.
MAGGIE
Dad!
JACK
Hi.
MAGGIE
Hi, Daddy!
JACK
Hey! I got you! Watch your step.
KRISTEN
Maggie, be careful!
MAGGIE
I do it all the time, Mom.
JACK
Does it all the time.
KRISTEN
I cant believe you still havent gotten
the plumbing fixed, Jack.
JACK
So whats up, Kristen?
KRISTEN
Um, well, you know that, um, me and Greg
got married last Saturday.
JACK
Oh, yeah. Hows Greg?
KRISTEN
Hes downstairs waiting in the car.
Waiting with an ulcer hoping youll say
yes. I need you to watch Maggie for me.
JACK
Okay. Yeah, I can do that till about
six. Would that help?
MAGGIE
No.
KRISTEN
Well--
MAGGIE
For the whole week, Daddy. The whole
week.
KRISTEN
We were scheduled t-to leave this
morning on our honeymoon, but our Nanny
called to say t-that, that shes gotta
go watch her mother have a benign tumor
removed in Ohio. Gregs parents are too
old, mine-mine are t-too, too crazy,
yours are dead. The tickets are
nonrefundable, so that leaves you.
JACK
Okay.
KRISTEN
Please, Jack, do this. Please!
JACK
Kristen. Now you liten. I would love to,
but you know, Im-Im working on a story
right now. So--
KRISTEN
Youre always working on a story.
JACK
Well, yeah. Its what I do.
KRISTEN
Its the same, old one about an every-
other-weekend good-time father for whom
responsibility is a dirty word.
JACK
Heres a hint, Kristen? During an
attempted manipulation like the one
thats in progress, I wouldve gone with
flattery.
KRISTEN
Why do I always have to be such grownup
where you always get to be the little
boy?
JACK
Cause in the beginning of the
relationship when we were choosing
upsides, you chose grownup first. This
is how you really want it, Kristen.
KRISTEN
No, what I really want is -- just once -
- for you to make a sacrifice in your
career for your daughter. She really
want to be with you, Jack.
JACK
Id really like to do that. Come here,
my little-- Come on. Come here, my
little noodle. Im a creature. Grrr!
MELANIE
Go pee, wash your hands and face, and
brush your teeth. Were in a little bit
of a hurry this morning, cause we have
to take your friend Maggie to school.
And we cant be late because of your
field trip.
SAMMY
I hate Maggie. She thinks shes so
funny.
JACK
Maggie?
KRISTEN
Hey, Jack, heres Maggies doctors
number.
JACK
Where are you?
KRISTEN
And the number of a really good baby-
sitter who can help you out tomorrow.
Shes got a walk-on part on a soap
today. And, Jack, theres one last
thing. This is really important. My
neighbor was supposed to take Maggie to
the Westside Montessori School for me
this morning. Okay? She lives in my
building. Jack.
JACK
Upp. Hupp!
KRISTEN
Jack? Apartment 501. This is her number.
JACK
Okay.
KRISTEN
Her name is Melanie Parker.
JACK
Melanie Parker.
KRISTEN
Now, if you want her to take Maggie to
school for you -- if you want her to
take Maggie to school for you, bring
Maggie to her house before eight, so you
dont miss them. If not, call Mel and
let her know that you dont need her to
take Maggie. Jack, okay?
KRISTEN
Im gonna miss my plane. You know, I
dont think this is a very good idea.
Maybe I should just cancel my honeymoon.
JACK
Dont cancel your honeymoon. Give me
these.
KRISTEN
Are you sure?
JACK
Yep.
KRISTEN
Okay. Uh, those are the telephone
numbers.
JACK
Say hi to Greg.
KRISTEN
Bye, baby!
M
