분야
hwpI Can Do Bad All By Myself Script
Hello.
Hello.
-Hello.
-Hello.
Thats what we do at Club Indigo.
The more you drink,
the better I look.
And the more you drink,
the better your dates gonna look.
A couple of you guys
valet parked your cars.
Well, you need to make good friends,
youre gonna need a ride home.
We dont have valet here.
Anybody valet?
You need a ride home.
This is one of the baddest sisters
around. This black gal can sing!
Ladies and gentlemen,
well try to show some love.
Put those hands together for
the one and only, not May, not June...
...but April. Give it up for Miss April!
Damn Joe better sit--
I know aint nobody
breaking in this house.
Must be somebody new
to the neighborhood...
...they gonna break in my house.
Im Madea,
and they gonna break in this house?
Oh, hell no.
Oh, see you later, Helmer.
-Joe.
-Now roll the joint up.
Joe.
Mabel, what the hell wrong with you?
You dont be coming--
Wake the hell up.
You about to give me a heart attack.
You too ugly
to be waking somebody up...
...in the middle of the night,
I told you that.
You gotta ease that ugly
up on people.
You cant just show it to them
all at once.
Code five, fool. Code five. Hurry up.
-Get out the bed.
-Code five? Hell, go get them, Mabel.
-Hell, you look like armed services.
-Hurry up.
Aint nothing in here but me.
This is your house.
Wait a minute. My weed down there.
Oh, hell no now.
Is this worth you getting
a cap busted in your ass for?
-What the hell?
-Did they done drop my damn VCR?
What you doing with my--?
Not your TiVo.
Sit your ass down!
Wait, this is from me.
Hold on, Joe. Hell.
Them children.
Clap your hands, girls!
Yall eating like yall aint ate nothing
in days.
I dont know why the hell you feeding
these children.
You feed them, they gonna
keep coming back, just like roaches.
You got one roach,
you gonna have thousands.
You never gonna be able
to get rid of these children.
You aint been able
to get rid of what you got.
Scratch and sniff.
Shut your mouth. I was in
a experiment with-- In Tuskegee.
-You want some more sandwich?
-Yeah.
-You say "yes, maam" to me.
-Yes, man.
He say "yes, man."
No, son, that aint--
That aint no man.
She just look like one.
-You say "yes, maam."
-What does that mean?
Dont know whats wrong
with these children today.
Aint nobody teach you some respect?
"Yes, maam. No, maam. No, sir"?
-Nobody teach you that?
-No.
Somebody shouldve. I dont know
whats wrong with parents today.
Hey, slow the hell down, boy.
Wipe your mouth.
What the hells wrong?
-He crazy?
-No.
Whats wrong with him?
-Hes a weirdo.
-Eat your food and shut up.
Girl, eat something.
Get you some butter and jelly.
No, Im good.
Just wanna make sure they eat.
Im mad as hell about my VCR.
Im trying to be nice to you,
but Im mad as hell about this VCR.
I ought to shank you.
This is my VCR.
I had this VCR back in 1973...
...when Otis Redding came by
and he sat there with me...
...and both of us watched
a movie on this VCR...
...and you just drop it
like its nothing.
This is a antique, girl.
You know what a antique is?
There one right there.
This is a antique.
-Still gonna call the cops?
-Hell, yeah.
You done broke in somebodys house.
Just because you looking sad...
...you dont think nobody gonna call
the police? Im calling the po-po.
Its tore up, anyway. I dont see
no reason for you to call the cops.
Dont tell me not to call the cops.
If I wanna call the cops, Im gonna.
I might not call
if you done learned your lesson.
The lesson is simple.
You can ask people for stuff.
You aint gotta be
trying to steal nothing.
Im feeding you
out of the kindness of my heart.
Im doing the good Christian thing,
doing what Jesus wouldve did.
Im feeding you.
My daughter would be proud...
...feeding the people
that came in here to steal.
All this stuff going on in the world,
I can help yall if you ask me to help.
Aint gotta come
breaking in the house.
People are working hard
for what they got...
...and you gonna break up
in somebodys house.
-Whats wrong with yall?
-Hey, Big Bird, calm down.
Making me upset, stealing
and break into somebodys house.
-You hear me, boy?
-Yes, man.
Boy, youre cute.
He said it again.
He said--
You said it again.
Boy, you funny. You is funny.
That aint no man.
You cant say "yes, man."
But thats what--
Yes, maam. Yes, dude.
As in, yes, sir.
As in, yes, dude.
As in, yes, bro.
Where are your people?
-My grandma--
-Shes at work.
Is that what you was gonna say?
-No.
-Yes.
-They lying.
-You know I can hear you, right?
Let this child talk to me
before I choke you out.
We havent seen our grandma
in four days.
Four days?
Why? Is she on that stuff?
No, she went to work
like she always do...
...but this time,
she never came back.
Manny, can you just shut up
and eat your food, please?
This child can talk to me
if he want to.
-Where your mom at?
-Dead. My grandmas at work.
-Wheres she work at?
-I dont know.
-Yall aint got no living relative?
-We got an aunt.
April. April.
-Hey.
-Girl, wake up.
Im
