분야
hwp Bigger, Longer and Uncut
By
Trey Parker
Matt Stone
&
Pam Brady
FADE IN:
Very happy, Disneyesque MUSIC swirls in.
PAN DOWN from a pretty blue sky, to a small quaint town
nestled in the hills. A wooden sign tells us this is South
Park.
EXT. SOUTH PARK AVENUE - DAY
Birds fly into the air, TOWNSPEOPLE smile to each other as
they walk by.
It is a scene reminiscent of, if not directly ripped off
from, the opening number of Beauty and the Beast.
A little eight year old boy walks happily down the street. He
is STAN MARSH, a noble looking boy with piercing blue eyes
and a strong chin. As he walks, he sings a happy song.
STAN
Im going to the movies
To see the brighter side of life!
Im going to the movie
Everythings gonna be alright!
Forget all my troubles
Put my own life on hold
Let a studio tell me
how I should view the world
Where everything works out
I love it that way
Im going to the movies
The movies today!
Stan merrily walks up to a crappy looking house.
INT. BEDROOM - MORNING
We are in a young boys bedroom, just as his alarm clock goes
off. BRRRRRTTT!!!
RADIO ANNOUNCER
Good morning South Park! Its five-thirty
a.m. on Sunday!! Time to feed the horses
and water the cows!!
From the back, we see the blond haired kid sit up from his
bed. He stretches, and then walks over to his closet.
We still only see the boy from the back as he reaches in his
closet and pulls out an orange coat.
The kid puts his coat on, then turns to camera and pulls the
hood shut, so that we never get a good look at his face.
MOTHER (O.S.)
KENNY! YOURE GONNA BE LATE FOR CHURCH!!!
This boys name is KENNY, and under his orange coat, we have
no idea what he looks like, except for his European nose and
hazel eyes.
KENNY
Mph rmph rm!
INT. KENNYS HOUSE - KITCHEN
Kenny walks through his small, dirty house and into the
kitchen, where his MOTHER, FATHER and OLDER BROTHER are
sitting at the humble table.
KENNYS MOTHER
Sit down, you can share some of your
brothers waffle.
The doorbell rings. Kenny walks over to the door.
EXT. KENNYS HOUSE - DAY
Kenny opens the door to find Stan.
STAN
Kenny! The Terrance and Phillip movie is
out! You wanna come?!
Stan shows Kenny a newspaper clipping. Its an ad for the new
Terrance and Phillip movie Asses of fire. Kennys eyes
light up.
KENNY
Mph rmph rm, rmph!
Kenny walks away with Stan. His mother comes out after him.
KENNYS MOTHER
Kenny! Wherere you going?
KENNY
Mph mprh mprh rm!
KENNYS MOTHER
What do you mean you dont want to go to
church?
KENNY
Mrmph, rmph rmph rm rmph.
Kenny and Stan walk down the street.
KENNYS MOTHER
Well fine, go ahead and miss church!! And
then when you die and go to hell you can
ANSWER TO SATAN!!
Dramatic MUSIC STING. Kenny stops, thinks for a minute... And
then walks off with Stan anyway.
EXT. SOUTH PARK AVENUE - DAY
Stan and Kenny now both happily march down the street to the
happy beat.
TOM, a plastic surgeon, peeps his head out the door of his
Rhinoplasty office.
TOM
Say, where are you boys going?
STAN
Were going to the movies!
To see the brighter side of life!
Where everyone is beautiful
And have their hair combed just
right!
KENNY
Mph rmph rm rmph rm!
Mph rm rmph rm!
Mprh rm rmph rm rm
Rmph rm rmph rm rmph!
TOM
Have fun you rascals!
EXT. KYLES HOUSE - DAY
Kenny and Stan knock at the door.
A handsome eight year old Semite, KYLE, answers the door.
KYLE
Hey, dudes... Arent you supposed to go
to church, Kenny?
STAN
Kyle, check it out.
Kenny holds up the newspaper clipping.
KYLE
OH MY GOD, DUDE!!!
Kyle slips on his coat and heads out the door. But just then,
Kyles little brother, IKE, a two year old adopted Canadian
boy bounces up next to him.
KYLE
No, Ike! You cant come with me!
Kyles MOTHER, a big fat bitch, comes to the door and yells.
KYLES MOTHER
Kyle, you take your little brother out to
play with you!
KYLE
Aw, ma!!
KYLES MOTHER
Do as I say, Kyle!
Kyles mother closes the door.
KYLE
Damn it!!
EXT. SOUTH PARK AVENUE - DAY
Now the three boys, and little Ike, merrily strut down the
street and sing in unison.
BOYS
Were going to the movies
To see the better side of life
Where something interesting happens
Every day and night!
KYLE
In movies we can pretend
That love is real
and good always wins-
STAN
We can even make believe marriages
last!
A HOMELESS guy is lying in the alley.
HOMELESS GUY
Spare a dollar? Spare a dollar?
Stan walks by and throws a dollar at him. The homeless guy
suddenly jumps up.
HOMELESS GUY
Im going to the movies!
To see the brighter side of life!
Im going to the movies
Everythings gonna be alright!
Forget my troubles
Put my own life on hold
Let a studio tell me
how to view the world!
KYLE
Lets go get fat ass!
EXT. ANOTHER HOUSE - DAY
This house looks just like all the others.
INT. THAT SAME HOUSE
CLOSE UP on a bag that reads CHEESY POOFS. A hand reaches
into the bag, pulls out a wad of orange crunchies and raises
them --
BOOM UP to reveal the fat face of eight year old ERIC CARTMAN
who chows down on the chips.
Now we see that fat little Eric is sitting on his cou
