Thought maybe l smelled smoke.
-Yeah.
Me, too. Could be a leaky valve.
Could be.
Peppermints before breakfast
might stunt your growth.
Daddy, phone.
Its the insurance man.
This afternoon, anytime before dark.
Hello?
I want to call
the Kansas State Penitentiary.
Person-to-person. Rev. James Post.
Rev. James Post.
My name is....
Perry Smith.
Hell be checking in sometime tomorrow.
-Can l see the roo
MR. BEAN
By
Richard Curtis
And
Robin Driscoll
INT. NATIONAL GALLERY. BOARDROOM - DAY
A very grand room, with lots of wood and some very famous portraits round the walls.
A group of grave gentlemen and gentlewomen. They are the trustees of the National Gallery. LORD WALTON, a very grand man, sits at the table head. To his right sits his assistant, GARETH. All are deep in thought. LORD WALTON fidge
thought
sundown would be good.
Here. Not in the house.
Just a few kids. I didnt want
to do a whole big thing.
Prendergast here.
Its me.
I wish you were home.
Wouldnt you come home now?
Whats wrong?
I don t know.
I got a little scared. . .
. . .and Id like you to come home.
What is it, honey?
I dont know.
I was wrapping some. . .
. . .some glasses up
and some things. . .
. . .and I got really scar
thought you were flying to Florida tonight.
Our charter airline went bankrupt and all the other flights were booked.
So you decided to give up your spring break vacation to stay here?
Why dont you just drive, Alexa?
Drive what? Daddy took my car, and my wheeled suitcase doesnt have an engine.
But we do know someone with a car, dont we, Kel?
Look, spring break is a total mob scene and all the guys
thought youd put a word in for him.
- Keep him in France. What would he get?
- Possession with intent.
- Five years.
- And for murdering a police officer?
- Throw away the key.
- There you go. Thats why.
- You didnt do it for me, then, huh?
- You? Fuck you.
Youre my worst nightmare. My bad angel.
How many times have you booked me?
I forget. But once more
and they throw away your key.
- Dont let i
Gods Must Be Crazy Script
It looks like a paradise, but it is the most treacherous desert in the world:
The Kalahari. After the short rainy season...
...there are many water holes, and even rivers.
But after a few weeks, the water sinks away into the deep Kalahari sand.
The water holes dry, and the rivers stop flowing.
The grass fades to a beautiful blond colour...
...that offers excellent grazin
thought it would be
a good laugh.
But oh, it was so scary.
Some sort of freaky
hypnotism happened.
I think they were
on drugs.
- [ Moans ]
-She even burnt her
airline ticket in front of me.
Thats when I asked her--
Is it true,
what they said,
that Baba might
marry you?
[ Prue ]
No, thank you, mate.
No, thank you.
No, mate.
Thank you. Thats fiine.
Thank you.
No, no. Say, Ruth--
Say no!
Say no, Rut
Female Trouble Script
I got lots
Of problems
Female trouble
Maybe Im twisted
Female trouble
They say Im a skank
But I dont care
Go ahead, put me
In your el-e-ectric chair
I got lots
Of problems
Female trouble
Maybe Im twisted
Female trouble
Hey, spare me your morals
Look, everyone does
What pleases me
Is paradise
I got lots
Of problems
Female trouble
Maybe Im twisted
Female trouble
Oink, oink
Oin
thought you said you didnt watch.
Well, the husband
usually chooses poison.
He takes the case,
and they got this scene where Ironside...
has got to get to the woman in time
to grab the poison from out of her hand.
In a glass of milk.
- You saw it.
- Okay, kiddo.
One half-dozen eggs.
One container of skim milk.
Two of the, uh,
low-cal cottage cheeses.
Give me a quarter pound
of that nice tender li
thought of
Mortons followers.
"Debauched aliens and atheists
falling into great licentiousness
and leading degenerate lives."
When I heard that, I packed my bags,
I left Oxford, I came straight to America.
America the licentious.
So what happened
to all of those people?
The Puritans shut them down,
they sent in Miles Standish,
Leading the militia, who chopped down the
Maypole, cut down those colo