분야
hwp Youre lucky, you know.
I rarely allow anyone into my flat.
I know, I know, I know.
Humble digs.
Not exactly what youd call a panty peeler.
Do you know what I mean?
But it suits me just fine.
To be honest, I rarely spend a night in my own bed anyway.
You see, heres my theory:
For most women, if a guys a good provider
and generally a nice chap, six-pack abs really arent a deal-breaker.
On the flip side, however,
even though the PC boyfriend sat next to you
with his arm slung around your shoulder will deny it...
And he will deny it. For us boys, its all about F.B.B.
Face. Boobs. Bum.
Im just being honest.
Its been said that clothes speak the international language.
And I have to admit, Im a bit of a fashion whore.
Unfortunately, today Ive got work, and I have to tone it down a little bit,
but thats all right. Gucci. End-of-summer sale.
Very understated. And I can easily spice it up with...
What? No, no. I know what you are thinking.
If you ooze masculinity, like some of us do,
you have no reason to fear pink. Smashing.
Now, in the cologne department, most men overdo it.
Americans practically spray it on with a crop-duster.
My rule: Nothing above the neck,
though I do like a little splash on Big Ben.
You never know where the day may take you.
Almost forgot.
New word for the day.
Ostentatious: The attempt to attract attention to oneself.
Who? Me?
Oh, blimey. Im so rude. I havent introduced myself.
- Im... - Alfie?
There you go. Alfie.
Are you the little elf that left these mocha bonbons on my doorstep?
No, no, no. You must have a secret admirer, Mrs Schnitman.
You are such a doll, Alfie. But Im supposed to be on a diet.
Oh, on a diet?
- A diet. - You?
- Yeah. - Now, I dont mean to be forward, Lu,
but you should know by now that a full-figured girl like yourself
- is every guys secret fantasy. - Stop it.
So shes a tub of lard. The ships already sailed,
so why not make her feel good about herself, right?
- Oh, Lu? - Yes, angel?
Im working the night spot,
and my apartment is a horror show, so Im sorry if I keep you up
- with the dust-busting at a.m. - Oh, dont you worry.
- Ill give it a quick straighten. - Oh, no, no, you dont need to that.
Nonsense. I like doing things for you, Alfie.
Im a blessed man having you in my life.
Thank you.
Keys are in the usual spot.
Now, back home, youre always hearing tales about some bloke
migrating to the States and winding up with buckets of money.
So not long ago, I packed up my bucket and headed west.
Now, I must admit, I had a second motive.
Id always been told that the most beautiful women in the world...
...resided in Manhattan.
And when it comes to shagging birds, its all about one thing:
Location, location, location.
God, I love this city. All right, girls.
Just look around. I mean, every one of them, unique, special,
like snowflakes.
And with such a plethora...
Calendar word meaning abundance, of gorgeousness and diversity,
well, how could a man ever choose to settle down with just one?
I myself subscribe more to the European philosophy of life.
My priorities leaning towards wine, women...
Well, actually, thats about it.
Wine and women.
Although, women and women is always a fun option.
So...
...to live life to the fullest,
I require only enough to cover my modest expenses.
Ive no desire to be the richest stiff in the cemetery.
I think this might just be my favourite position.
I know it was President Kennedys.
He was such a great leader.
Of course, JFK used the old bad-back excuse,
but if you ask me, he knew it gave you maximum pleasure
with minimum exertion.
What is it about the back of a limo?
Obligatory cuddling.
Thousand one,
thousand two...
Cripes. Hey, Ive gotta get cracking. Ive got a : pickup.
You better hurry up. You dont want to keep her waiting.
Quite the number, isnt she?
Yet, she tells me her old man hasnt shagged her in six months.
Six months. I mean, thank God there are gentlemen like me around
to pick up the slack.
Just look at her. Legs like a racehorse.
Perfect yoga bum. I give her my highest grade:
A-minus.
Where did we tell the old man we were going tonight?
- A movie. - Treasure, please, no, no, no.
Stop messing about. Youll ruin my presets.
- Sorry. - What movie?
I dont know. Whats the difference?
The difference is, the more detail you give, the less interested hell be.
It wouldnt matter what I said.
It would never occur to Phil that another man
- would ever look twice at me. - Dor, darling,
you fishing for a compliment?
No.
You should know by now they only come from me when least expected.
Now, come and have a mint so Phil doesnt smell the Alfie on your breath.
I dont care if he does.
Theres one thing that puts me off marriage: Its married women.
Dorie doesnt know it yet,
but you wont be seeing much more of her.
Ive got that all-too-familiar feeling.
Sooner or later, shell be wanting a little bit more than Im able to give.
Wouldnt it be great if I was going home with you tonight
instead of Phil the Pill?
Yeah.
Its definitely time to stag
