분야
hwp Hey, can I get another drink down here?
Ive been to prison once.
Ive been married twice.
I was once drafted by Lyndon Johnson and had to live
in shit-ass Mexico for two and a half years for no reason.
Ive had my eye socket punched in, a kidney taken out,
and I got a bone chip in my ankle thats never gonna heal.
Ive seen some pretty shitty situations in my life.
But nothing has ever sucked more ass than this.
If Id known I was gonna have to put up with screaming brats
pissing on my lap for days out of the year,
I would have killed myself a long time ago.
Come to think of it, I still might.
Where I come from, we didnt celebrate Christmas.
Not because we were Jewish, but because my dad
was a worthless-coward fucking asshole whose idea of a present
was a daily punch to the back of the head.
He did teach me how to crack a safe, though.
My dad never did shit with his life, so he took it out on me.
You could say Im no different. Id have to say you were right.
But at this point, its too late to start over.
Funny how things work out.
Its fucking hilarious.
Theres Santa Claus. Look there.
Wow.
Oh, my. What a darling photo.
Are you certain you only want the single?
Additional photos come in handy as gifts for Grandma and Grandpa
or as a wonderful remembrance for friends.
Gee. You know what?
This one, I think its more than enough.
Thanks. Merry Christmas.
So, what do you want, little girl?
A drum set.
Oh, the old man will love that.
Okay. Fine. See you later.
I saw you at another mall.
Well, Im very happy for you.
Youre not really Santa.
If you were Santa, you could do magic.
You want to see some magic?
Here. Lets watch you disappear.
Watch the bladder, kid. Santas got to pee.
-What do you want? -A new bike.
Wow. Thats a new one. Excellent.
Attention, shoppers.
The store will be closing in five minutes.
We hope tomorrow is a pleasant Christmas.
Thank you for shopping with us.
-Is that it? -Yeah, thats the last one.
Thank the fuck Christ.
Jesus, Mother Mary, and Joseph.
You pissed yourself.
Aw, Jesus.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah.
Hey, happy holidays. All right.
Merry Christmas.
Happy holidays.
Get home safe.
Yeah, okay.
I dont care what he says.
-Were going out for a beer. -What the fuck?
Ill get right back to you.
What the hells wrong with you? Im trying to fucking leave.
Pants are awful baggy.
You got anything in there?
Yeah. My dick. You want to see it?
Keep pushing me.
I got my eyes on you.
All the time.
Ready.
Jesus.
-Hows it going? -Im finished when Im finished.
