studio of Hollywood.
Completely stupid!
Why?
- Excuse me.
- That there is, Batrice?
An index arrived
concerning disappearance
of our team in Iceland.
Which team?
They had left
to inquire into a monster....
who would live under a silo
with missiles close to north.
Local authorities
sought without success.
- What arrived?
- a cassette of the taker of sound.
One of our envelopes. Look at.
event.
They dont allow drinking.
Why dont we buy the girls
another round and test the theory?
Maybe later. Okay?
Jeez, Glory.
You come working up at the mine,
you gotta ignore that crap.
Who says Im working at the mine?
Wouldnt you like to make the same
kind of money your dad does?
You wanna be a lesbian now?
I wanna be a lesbian.
How come I have to eat
if Im not hungry?
Because people are starvi
Napoleon Dynamite Script
[Birds Chirping]
[Folk Pop]
[Continues]
[Continues]
[Continues]
[Continues]
[Stops]
[Birds Chirping]
[Sighs]
[Vehicle Approaching]
What are you gonna do
today, Napoleon?
Whatever I feel like
I want to do. Gosh!
[Bell Rings]
[Woman]
Your current event, Napoleon.
Last week, Japanese scientists "explaced"...
placed explosive detonators
at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness...
to b
team of
masked gunmen.
We see a photo of the kidnapped scientist, JOHN VAN TASSELL.
NEWS READER
The scientist, identified as John Van
Tassell, is acknowledged as one of
the worlds foremost authorities on
the manufacture and delivery of
chemical weapons.
A map or graphic.
NEWS READER
It is believed that Van Tassell was
taken across the border into Iran.
Photo of the White House, or footage of a pr
event.
One of the people watching the band is SAM BURNELL, a man in
his early forties. He watches his daughter, NICOLE, as she
sings into the microphone. NICOLE is sixteen.
NICOLE stares at her father as she sings.
ANGLE ON
SAM looking back at his daughter. He is intensely proud of
her. SAM is a carpenter, working on at the fair site. He
gets back to his work, hammering a supporting beam into the
dance hall,
the ice cream parlor...
the tenement saloon...
the Turkish bath.
Like the Hydra...
it grows new heads everywhere.
Even the modern inventions
of science...
are used to cultivate immorality.
The gas engine...
has brought us
the automobile joyride...
and an even more
pernicious menace...
the roadside brothel.
Electricity...
has made possible
the degrading picture show.
Because of the tel
Love And a .45 Script
announcer:...any similarities
to real people or events
is purely coincidental.
The Crime Channel.
All crime all the time.
Excuse me, son.
Where do you keep the anti-acids?
That aisle, right-hand side.
Third shelf from the bottom.
Thatll be $ . .
Arent you a little young
to be working the night shift...
...hombre?
I lied about my age.
How old are you, son?
Fourteen.
Shouldnt
events.
And the patriarch, ELI LAPP; his stubborn,
weathered -
yet not unkind - features grief-stricken.
THE MOURNERS
Their faces...
CLOCK
as it begins to CHIME nine a.m.
FAVORING PREACHER
as he removes his hat. As one, the men in the
congre-
gation remove their hats also.
9 CONTINUED:
Then the preacher begins to speak in a formal
German
dialect:
(SUBTITLES OVER)
PREACHER
... a brother has been c
events that I witnessed...
...and on the men that lived them.
The beginning of my life
as a frontier soldier was at hand...
...and no amount of military training
could disguise the excitement I felt.
-Howdy.
-Welcome. Its good to see an army fellow.
Whiskey?
No, thank you, sir.
You dont have to sir me, son.
I aint no officer.
-Looks like you are, though.
-Second Lieutenant Britton Davis.
-At your
eventeen year-old girls like
yourselves. and compete around the
country in places like:
MALE PAGEANT ANNOUNCER
(O.S.)
Beautiful Mount Rose, Minnesota.
ADAM WEST
And make it all the way here to
Lincoln, Alabama, to compete for the
title of American Teen Princess.
LIGHTS come UP on the teenaged girls in the pageant as
they pause. As they WAVE AMERICAN FLAGS. Adam West
turns back to the camer