lift? Yoo hoo!
Taxi!
JANE
No, I have a car. One in which I smoke...
ROBIN
So what do you think? I think it could work.
JANE
Ill let you know in a couple of days, okay?
ROBIN
Because I really need to leave, as soon as possible,
and I just dont want to it alone. I dont think that
would be safe. And youre the first person that
answered the ad. I think thats a sign of something.
I think youd be
off the show.
GEORGE (OS)
(on T.V.)
Hey, Pumpkin! Whats that smell?
(sniffing)
Is that your meat loaf?
DAVID
(by rote)
"It might be ..."
BETTY (OS)
(shy smile)
It might be.
He leans over and kisses her--again on the cheek.
GEORGE (OS)
Oh Pumpkin! You sure know the way to
this mans heart.
There is a loud and inappropriate LAUGH TRACK. David smiles
wider and is just about to reach for more corn chi
CHARADE
FADE IN (BEFORE TITLES)
1. EXT. FRENCH COUNTRYSIDE -- DUSK
Silence -- complete silence for the urbanite, though the
oncoming darkness is punctuated by the sounds of farm
country -- a few birds, a distant rumble of thunder from
some heavy clouds on the horizon, a dogs barking.
CAMERA PANS the green, squared-off flatland, lit only by
a fine sunset in its final throes. Then, gradually,
start
Singh...
...is waiting for you.
Puran Singh!
What could he want now?
Bhuvan!
Bhuvan!
Bhuvan!
Why are you screaming
your head off?
l was looking for you.
l couldnt see you.
-Was l lying dead somewhere?
-How should l know?
God! What am l saying?
Why are you so angry?
Never mind.
What do you want?
-lve got something to tell you.
-What?
Sit down, wont you?
So tell me.
Guran read my fortune toda
off course.
(pause)
Were certain theyve been
captured by the guerrillas.
Schaefer looks up, puffing lightly on the cigar.
SCHAEFER
(quietly)
What have you got in mind,
General.
(CONTINUED)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
4
3 CONTINUED: (2) 3
PHILIPS
We figure weve got less than
twenty-four hours to catch
up with them. After that,
theres not much hope. We
w
OFF THE WING.
JACK
(shocked)
NO!!
ANOTHER CAMEL is flying just a few feet off JACKS TAIL . .. It dives
away.
TRACER FIRE rips into JACKS PLANE ... He SPINS AROUND, confronted with
a TERRIFYING SIGHT!
The 24 gaudily painted FOKKER TRI-PLANES of VON RICHTOFENS FLYING
CIRCUS are diving down towards them. The hunters have just become THE
HUNTED! Before JACK can react, the TRI-PLANES swoop into the do
lifting...
...a multicolored hot-air balloon.
- Were getting audited.
- What does that mean?
Someone from the IRS
is coming to review our tax forms.
- Thats quite amusing.
- Why is that amusing?
Well, considering our annual income
is less than $ a year, it is.
I think if we had a television,
you wouldnt think it was so amusing.
If we didnt live off the map.
If we had a phone and plumbing
like nor
off.
Liz Purr was just....
Well, she was perfect.
I used to dream about what
it would be like to be her...
...Elizabeth Purr.
Its a shame about
what happened to Liz.
That was no way to wake up
on your th birthday.
She is gonna die!
-lts much better than last year.
-l wish my friends did that for me.
Yeah, right.
Youd have us killed.
Only maimed, my dear.
Whatre we gonna do?
Well stuff her pretty
A silver throwing-bird is chosen from a weapons array. Gloved hands lift a black eye mask. Tunic armor CLICKS shut, turning to reveal the chest-borne insignia of a Robin.
INT. BATCAVE
BATMAN - CLOSE
Emerges from his costume vault.
WIDER
Deeper excavation has doubled the size of the cavern.
New state-of-the-art computing systems flash. Surveillance screens monitor news and police FREQUENCIES. Crim
off to?
BELLE: The bookshop! I just finished the most wonderful story, about
a beanstalk and an ogre and...
BAKER: (Ignoring her) Thats nice...Marie, the baguettes! Hurry up!!
TOWNSFOLK: Look there she goes, that girl is strange no question
Dazed and distracted, cant you tell?
WOMAN 1: Never part of any crowd
BARBER: Cause her heads up on some cloud
TOWNSFOLK: No denying shes a funny girl, that B