Miracle on 34th Street Script
KRIS: Youve got them mixed up.
Youre making a mistake.
Youre making a mistake
with the reindeer.
Tsk tsk tsk.
Would you mind stepping out
for a moment?
Open the door!
STOREKEEPER: Im sorry.
The store isnt open today.
KRIS: I dont want
to buy anything...
and Im sorry
to interrupt your work...
but I wanted to tell you
youre making a serious mistake.
- Huh?
- With the r
patients.
And shes got a hot date tonight.
Stop! Im going out to dinner
with my ex and his mother.
He still hasnt told her
were divorced.
I wont be responsible for killing
an 80-year-old woman.
Ill trade nights with you.
Ive gotta go home and sew
six caterpillar costumes
with Velcro legs
for Katies dance class.
I dont know
how you guys do it.
Nick is totally pushing me for kids.
I dont have time
serious...
Mightnt he do something to her?
Just leave that to us. Well know how to handle him.
But I want you to know hes a dangerous man.
I honestly dont think hed stop at anything.
I dont think hed hesitate to kill Corinne if it would save him.
Could he cover up by marrying her?
He has a wife and three children in England.
They usually do, though not always in England. What does he look like?
H
serious? Its Martin Chuzzlewit.
Smart-ass.
New Orleans is a siren of a city.
A place of fables and illusion.
A place Lorraine had to escape from...
and Bobby and I had to escape to.
Away from Alabama...
away from lives
that no longer belonged to us.
I thought she was getting better
that last time, I really did.
When was that?
- A few years ago, at least.
- Itll be six years, October.
Was it that
serious actress, its my goal to entertain the world through
artistic expression, through art, I shall serve my country.
Back to the balcony
Ray -
Do you believe all this shit?
Barry -
Work it babe. Their eating it up, look shes incredible.
Back to stage
MC -
And now. this years Croaker Queen is...Miss Helen Shivers
The crowd cheers as the announcers gives Helen her crown and septor.
Barry
serious again:
ANDREW
Your Honor, Counselor is
attempting to portray my client
as a hideous manifestation of
evil and corruption. But
nothing could be further from
the truth. Rockwell has
generously contributed ten
thousand dollars to this
neighborhoods schools, clinics
and youth centers! Granting a
restraining order on the
construction site will throw
hundreds of Philadelphians out
of work, and
serious word!
MOM swats violently and we see fly splat in bloody
closeup. ("Directed by John Waters" credit appears).
Family is suddenly silent as they uneasily look up
in surprise at MOMs ferocious attack.
MOM quickly wipes up squashed fly and smiles back at
her family.
MOM
There. All better.
(Suddenly all innocence)
Anybody for scrambled eggs?
END OF CREDITS.
A loud banging is heard on the back
A few patients sit around fumbling with themselves. One man sits at a table scratching back and forth on a piece of paper with a crayon. Another stands in a corner smoking a cigarette and staring at the crayon guy. This is CHARLES. Another man, KARL, sits in a chair staring at the floor and rubbing his hands together. We cut back and forth between Charles staring and Crayon Man scratching. After
patient this before
Were a small hospital and painfully short-staffed
Im actually a pediatric doctor by training so
any bad news I have to give
usually involves a lollipop
Would you like one?
Its grape
Doctor, please
You died, Mr. Cable
Your heart stopped beating for nearly two minutes
No, no, its alright
We resuscitated you We brought you back
Youre good as new well, practically
So, thats why Im
patient one.
JAFAR: You have it, then?
GAZEEM:I had to slit a few throats to get it. (Pulls out
half of the medallion. JAFAR reaches out for it,
but GAZEEM yanks it back.) Ah, ah, ahhh! The treasure!
(IAGO squawks as he flies by and grabs the medallion.) Ouch!
JAFAR: Trust me, my pungent friend. Youll get whats
coming to you.
IAGO: Whats coming to you! Awk!
(JAFAR pulls out the second half of the