Me Myself And Irene Script
I got a star on my car and one on my chest
A gun on my hip and the right to arrest
Im the guy whos the boss on this highway
So watch out what youre doin when youre drivin my way
If you break the law youll hear from me l know
Im working for the state Im the highway patrol
Well, you know me when you see me cause my doors painted white
My siren a- screamin and my flashin r
BODY OF EVIDENCE
by
Brad Mirman
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(second draft)
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Over the BLACK we hear the SOUNDS of two people making love. A
MANS VOICE MOANS passionately.
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FADE IN:
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INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
ANDREW MARSH lies on his back in bed. He is a frail-looking
man in his early sixties, with thinning gray hair. On top of
him is a much younger WOMAN. Although her back is to us, we
catch flashes of her face for a mom
total chaos.
It was strange to see soldiers on the street...
terrified of the civilian population,
any one of whom could be an I.R.A. gunman.
I was just a petty thief stealin scrap metal.
In Belfast, that was a dangerous occupation.
Get down, Gerry, for fuck sake.
Tommo!
The I.R.A. had already given me three warnings,
and when a British patrol mistook me for a gunman, that got me into real troubl
hip kid who is still in
high-school. Daughter, MISTY, a pretty and slightly
overweight college student, frantically prices the
junk she plans on selling at the flea market after
classes while gulping down a light breakfast.
MOM
Who wants fruit salad?
MISTY
I do, please.
MOM
(Hesitating)
Thats not gum in your mouth,
is it?
MISTY
(Removing it)
Its sugarless.
MOM
(Gently)
You know how I hate gum,
Mi
totally warranted.
Wouldnt I be better
on the Citizen case?
I have a background
in profiling and decoding.
I could contribute.
Like you contributed last night?
By putting yourself
and agents in jeopardy?
Ill save the rest
for the review board.
You will bury yourself
under a mountain of paperwork.
Discussion is over.
Mike, give me a pint.
Rough day?
The worst.
Sure you want a whole one?
Yeah. Hit
him,
wed be just as bad as him.
So we need to hurt him
without really hurting him.
I mean, if you could think
of something like that, then...
Then what?
I dont know.
All right, Heather Locklear
or Shannen Doherty?
Dont know who
Heather Locklear is.
You dont...? Dude!
So, what do you say?
I think its a totally wild plan.
Its also the only plan
my brother would agree to.
Hes just a little fucking
A man and woman make love on a brass bed. There are mirrors on the walls and ceiling. On a side table, atop a small mirror, lines of cocaine. A tape deck PLAYS the Stones: "Sympathy for the Devil."
Atop him... she straddles his chest... her breasts in his face. He cups her breasts. She leans down, kisses him...
JOHNNY BOZ is in his late 40s, slim, good-looking. We dont see the womans face. She ha
totally scared me!
I scared you?
Because for a second, I thought...
I dont even want to say it.
[moaning]
Wow.
Thats, like, pretty hard-core.
Yeah, I know.
No, Im notjudging.
Dont be embarrassed.
This is a major turn-on.
Lets go with this.
- Is this what you do when Im gone?
- Mitch, wait.
No, I mean, I do it myself every once
in a while, but to magazines.
Okay, Mitch, we need to talk.
- Hello!
-
Lovely And Amazing Script
(music plays)
Dont you think I have
too much make-up on?
Photographer:
No, you look great.
could you
open up your jacket?
Just, you know,
pull it open.
Thats it.
Put your arm back
where it was.
Give us
a nice look.
Does this
seem strange to you?
No, its high fashion.
Its sophisticated.
Its totally hot.
But my dress-
I feel sort of...
I thought you said
you liked this des
totally warranted.
Wouldnt I be better on the Citizen case?
I have a background in profiling and decoding.
I could contribute.
Like you contributed last night?
By putting yourself and agents in jeopardy?
Ill save the rest for the review board.
You will bury yourself under a mountain of paperwork.
Discussion is over.
Mike, give me a pint.
Rough day?
The worst.
Sure you want a whole one?
Yeah. Hit