분야
hwpMy whole life, I always hated school.
Oh, thank you, Snowball.
No more Fs.
No more Fs.
All right, I admit it. I took Mrs. Hermans grade book.
I set fire to it. I peed on it. But before you pass judgment...
you got to hear my side of the story.
Lets go back to the beginning.
Thats me in the window over there, and thats my dad.
Now, I was only five years old...
but I already knew that I hated school.
You see, I had just gotten over the chickenpox...
and I was having a little trouble making friends.
Can I play with you guys?
Why do you have dots on your face?
Dot-face.
And then I met Sammy.
Now, this kid really hated school.
He hated teachers, he hated coloring...
he even hated recess.
It was incredible.
Sammy, come on.
Look at the big, chubby baby.
Its disgusting.
What are you looking at?
Ill be your friend.
Handsome.
Sammy.
Now, Sammy was the worst speller in the class...
and I felt really bad for him, so I decided to help him out.
You stole the answers?
...C-l-O-P-A-T-H.
"Sociopath."
Thats correct, Sammy.
Youre the winner.
Sammy and l, we cheated our way through elementary school.
By the time we got to junior high, we were experts.
Youre late, Davis.
Hey, relax, man. Everythings cool.
I thought I told you to come alone.
Hes cool. Hes my partner.
Evan Rosengarden. When we needed a book report...
a term paper, or a science project, we went to him.
he would do anything for a little porn...
as long as it wasnt soft-core.
This better not be soft-core.
I hate soft-core.
So does my dad.
It was a smooth operation...
Holy smokes.
until Rosengarden got sloppy.
Yes, well, the reason Im calling, Mr. Davis...
is because your son gave my son a dirty movie.
And it was perhaps the weirdest dirty movie...
that Ive ever seen.
I want to know how Handsome got his hands...
on something this... super dirty.
Perhaps you should talk to him.
Oh, dont worry. I will.
I most certainly will.
Handsome.
Yes, Daddy?
Listen...
Now, my dads porn was so weird...
there was no way he was gonna talk about it.
Was there something you wanted to tell me?
And the truth is...
that was the least of his problems with me.
Good night. - Good night, Daddy.
I was the type of kid that wouldnt even get up...
to go to school in the morning without putting up a fight.
Now, being a single parent is never easy...
especially when your kid is me.
Here he comes. Here he comes.
I taught him that move.
Basically, we were at war...
and I wasnt going to let him win.
I am not going to let you win!
Now, he used to threaten to send me away all the time...
and I would threaten him with running away from home.
Sammy was always there to talk me out of it.
Thats a big-ass suitcase.
Listen, Handsome, I need some help with geometry.
You know, some secret help.
Geometry? I dont go to school anymore.
But everybody has to go to school.
Not me.
Listen, Handsome, this is crazy. Where are you gonna sleep?
Well, Im not sleeping at the nut house.
My dad told me that they got kids there...
that eat their own shit with a fork and knife.
Really? - Yes. Really.
Hello, world!
Now, this used to happen all the time...
but Sammy knew that I was always gonna come back...
and I was always going to help him cheat.
Did you say something about geometry?
You bet your frickin ass I did.
And by the time we got to high school...
Sammy and I had taken cheating to a whole other level.
We had gone from small-time spelling bees...
to mid-terms, finals, and everything in between.
You name it, we stole it.
Now, there were two other guys we always worked with.
Everythings cool?
Now, Sammy and I may have hated school...
but Victor hated everything.
His motto was, "I hate everything."
Now, we all took our jobs very seriously...
You finished yet?
But nobody took it as seriously as Applebee.
Brilliance requires patience.
You see, he was the man in charge of the crib sheets.
Now, every cheating outfit needs a guy who can write small...
and this guy wrote crazy small.
That is a masterpiece.
It should be hanging in a museum.
I hate museums.
The four of us were a real solid unit.
We were efficient, we were loyal...
and we had our own copy of the janitors key.
Do you know why I called you in here?
Did I win some kind of award or something?
No, you did not win any awards.
Do you have something you want to tell me?
I love you?
Stand up.
I dont understand.
I said stand up.
Thats a ball.
Thats another ball.
They like to travel together.
Marla, he doesnt have them on him.
Id like you to schedule an assembly for sixth period.
I know what you kids say about me.
Well, Im not a bitch.
I am not a lesbian.
I am not...Medusa.
You know, I wasnt always a principal.
When I was your age...
every weekend, wed go to the wrong side of town...
so that we could listen to live Negro music.
Yes.
Can I get my award now?
Get out.
Now.
OK, the cornerstone of our operation was the key.
Everythings cool? - Its cool.
It opened every single door in the school...
so we could steal any test at any time.
Hey, guys, I saved some seats f
