dancing out on the porch earlier.
Good evening, kiddos.
That is no way to behave at a concert,
Georgia Miles.
Swear to God, Mr. Lucas, when I hear music
something happens to me...
and I either have to move,
or scream my head off or something.
Somethings in my blood, sir...
and I dont know what it is.
But I do know if I cant dance, Id die.
Maybe you should see a doctor.
A doctor! These middle-clas
Dancing At The Blue Iguana Script
Woman:
Yes, Ill hold.
Uncle Neil?
Hi, its Jessica.
How are you?
Really?
Yeah, Im in Hollywood.
So what have you been doing
for the past five years?
Yeah?
I miss you.
A lot.
When can I come
and visit you?
Can you come
and visit me?
Id love it
if you came and visited me.
I dont care about that.
It doesnt matter anymore.
I just want to see you.
Okay, Ill try.
Are yo
attention.
And remember,
no drinking and no sedatives.
- Well be out around Seal Island. - Okay.
Have fun.
Behave yourselves.
Love you!
Bye!
Be good!
Bye!
Bye-bye!
Now what?
Aw, shit.
All right. Okay.
George?
Lance?
Guess again.
- Its me! - Oh, God! Kent!
You shit! What are you doing here?
How did you get here?
I swam.
Oh, funny.
Would you believe I borrowed a friends boat?
Since when do you have
dance around me while
my friends yell out,
Go for it, Ben.
Last night of freedom, Ben. "
Last night of freedom
for what ?
Which is what I told
my best friend Alan.
I didnt want any strippers.
I didnt wanna get lucky.
l was lucky enough
just getting married.
- All right. Quiet !
- [ Shouting ]
Guys !
All right. lm not payin tor that.
lt already was chipped.
Were here to, uh, wish Ben
good luck and
dance, boy.
- And my Johnson swingin-- - Daddy!
Ball goin one way, Johnson the other. The ball/Johnson dance.
Daddy! I dont wanna hear that.
Whats that smell?
It must be your upper lip. I dont smell nothin.
I do!
What it smell like?
Like you didnt fall in mud.
Use this spray. Thats what I got this for.
Too much! Whats wrong with this window?
That window dont come down. Remind me to get it fixed.
dancing and waving American flags.
APPLAUSE!
MALE PAGEANT ANNOUNCER
(contd)
The American Teen Princess Pageant.
Each contestant wears a BANNER ACROSS her dress reading:
AMERICAN TEEN PRINCESS.
MALE PAGEANT ANNOUNCER (contd)
And now, a few words...
ANGLE ON
Contestants DROP, ROLL and form a STAR. CHEERS!
MALE PAGEANT ANNOUNCER (contd)
...from last years host, Mr. Adam
West.
ADAM WEST
The Ameri
dance down the street with
a cloud at your feet, youre in love*
*When you walk in a dream but you
know youre not dreamin, signore*
*scusa me, but you see, back
in old Napoli, thats amore*
*Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-lingting-a-ling-a-ling
And youll sing "Vita bella"*
*Hearts will play tippi-tippi-tay,
tippi-tippi-tay, like a gay tarantella*
*When the stars make you drool just
like pasta fazool
dancing.
- Dancing.
- Ready?
- Ready.
Good.
- I need to say something.
- Okay.
About tomorrow.
- I was thinking...
- Mm-hmm.
And maybe I should go alone.
- Really?
- Yeah. I mean...
its hard enough to blend in, having a team of
Secret Service men carrying my books, then...
Uh-huh.
All Im saying...
I just wanna be
like everybody else.
Sam, youre not like
everybody else.
Ready?
Its the big finish.
dancer, resident of Harlem
And President
of the United States of Love
Bad shit
If you invite this man to dinner
Youre gonna have to feed him
Watermelon, hominy grits
and shortening bread
Alligator ribs and pig tails
With some black-eyed peas
Lord, chitterlings
Collard greens
And if you dont watch out
the boogie man will get you
Boo
Yeah, Im talkin about yall
So you say
Say something to boogie man
dance to it, but thats a pulse.
Hell survive. Good job, people. Sedate him and wrap him up.
Contact, meters.
This area should be clear.
I guess I didnt win, huh?
He still has brain function. Clamp him. Get the lobotomizer.
Imagine the shit wed get if we delivered him lI ke this?
Forty megawatts to the frontal lobe.
-Thatll burn him clean. -Should quiet him too.
What kind of hospital is this?
What