분야
hwp This is your lunch, OK?
Now, I put a dollar in there
so you can buy some milk.
You can ask one of the big kids
where to do that.
You remember your phone number?
I wrote it down for you, just in case.
Put it in your pocket,
I dont want you to lose it.
OK? You ready?
I think so.
Its Cadys big day.
I guess its natural for parents to cry
on their kids first day of school.
But, you know, this usually
happens when the kid is .
Im and until today,
I was home-schooled.
I know what youre thinking.
"Home-schooled kids are freaks."
X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P.
Xylocarp.
Or that were weirdly religious
or something.
And on the third day, God created
the Remington bolt-action rifle
so that Man could fight the dinosaurs.
And the homosexuals.
- Amen.
- Amen.
But my familys totally normal.
Except for the fact that both my
parents are research zoologists
and weve spent the last
years in Africa.
I had a great life.
But then my mom got offered tenure
at Northwestern University.
So it was goodbye Africa
and hello high school.
Im OK. Sorry.
Ill be careful.
Hi.
I dont know if anyone
told you about me.
Im a new student here.
My name is Cady Heron.
Talk to me again
and Ill kick your ass.
You dont wanna sit there. Kristen
Hadleys boyfriend is gonna sit there.
Hey, baby.
He farts a lot.
Hey, everybody.
Oh, God, Im so sorry.
Its not you. Im bad luck.
Ms. Norbury?
My T-shirts stuck
to my sweater, isnt it?
- Yeah.
- Fantastic.
Is everything all right in here?
- Oh, yeah.
- So...
...how was your summer?
- I got divorced.
My carpal tunnel came back.
- I win.
- Yes, you do.
Well, I just wanted to let
everyone know
that we have a new student joining us.
She just moved here
all the way from Africa.
Welcome.
- Im from Michigan.
- Great.
Her name is Cady. Cady Heron.
- Where are you, Cady?
- Thats me.
- Its pronounced like Katie.
- My apologies.
I have a nephew named Anfernee,
and I know how mad he gets
when I call him Anthony.
Almost as mad as I get
when I think about the fact
that my sister named him Anfernee.
Well, welcome, Cady.
- And thank you, Mr. Duvall.
- Well, thank you.
And...
...if you need anything or if you
wanna talk to somebody...
Thanks.
Maybe some other time,
when my shirt isnt see-through.
OK.
OK. Good day, everybody.
The first day of school was a blur.
A stressful, surreal blur.
I got in trouble for the
most random things.
- Where are you going?
- Oh, I have to go to the bathroom.
You need the lavatory pass.
OK. Can I have the lavatory pass?
Nice try. Have a seat.
I had never lived in a world
where adults didnt trust me,
where they were always yelling at me.
- Dont read ahead!
- No green pen!
No food in class!
I told you, I saw the whole thing.
- Everything.
- Did you see nipple?
- It only counts if you saw a nipple.
- Thats true, dude.
I had a lot of friends in Africa.
What?
But so far, none in Evanston.
Hey. How was your first day?
Is that your natural hair color?
- Yeah.
- Its gorgeous.
Thank you.
See, this is the color I want.
This is Damian.
Hes almost too gay to function.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice wig, Janis.
- Whats it made of?
- Your moms chest hair!
- Im Janis.
- Hi, Im Cady.
Do you guys know
where Room G is?
"Health, Tuesday/Thursday,
Room G ."
I think thats in the back building.
- Yeah, thats in the back building.
- Yeah, well take you there.
Thanks.
Watch out, please!
New meat coming through!
"Health. Spanish."
Youre taking th-grade calculus?
- Yeah, I like math.
- Why?
Because its the same
in every country.
Thats beautiful. This girl is deep.
Wheres the back building?
It burned down in .
Wont we get in some
sort of trouble for this?
Why would we get you into trouble?
Were your friends.
I know its wrong to skip class,
but Janis said we were friends.
And I was in no position
to pass up friends.
I guess Ill never know what I missed
on that first day of health class.
Dont have sex. Because you
will get pregnant and die.
Dont have sex
in the missionary position,
dont have sex standing up.
Just dont do it, promise?
OK, everybody take some rubbers.
Why didnt they just keep
home-schooling you?
They wanted me to get socialized.
Oh, youll get socialized, all right.
A little slice like you.
- What are you talking about?
- Youre a regulation hottie.
- What?
- Own it.
How do you spell your
name again, Cady?
Its Cady. C-A-D-Y.
Yeah, Im gonna call you Cady.
In the name of all that is holy, will you
look at Karen Smiths gym clothes?
Of course all The Plastics
are in the same gym class.
- Who are The Plastics?
- Theyre teen royalty.
If North Shore was Us Weekly,
they would always be on the cover.
That one there, thats Karen Smith.
She is one of the dumbest
girls you will ever meet.
Damian sat next to her
in English last year.
She asked me how to spell "orange".
And that little one?
Thats Gretchen Wieners.
Shes totally rich because
her dad invented Toaster Strudel.
Gretchen Wieners knows
everybodys business.
She knows everything
about everyone.
Thats why her hair is so big.
Its full of secrets.
And evil takes a human
f
