분야
hwp Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Script
On the count of three.
One, two, three!
Try the ring toss. Three for a quarter.
Look how easy it is.
There you go, a winner!
And now, for my shocking finale.
Not for the squeamish.
Not for the faint of heart.
I call my trick "The Jaws of Death. "
Now. Say it. Say it.
Harold, use your awesome might
to save me from this hopeless plight.
No harm will come to you.
Alakazam!
Help me! Help me!
Im going to be an actress.
Hard to believe it was last Christmas...
...that me and Harmony
changed the world.
And we didnt mean to.
And it didnt last long, you know.
A thing like that cant.
Now that Im in L.A., I go to parties.
The kind where if a girl is named Jill...
...she spells it J-Y-L-L-E, that bullshit.
Thats me there. My names
Harry Lockhart, Ill be your narrator.
Welcome to L.A.
Welcome to the party.
The guy smoking, thats Dabney Shaw,
my producer. He discovered me.
The man with him is Perry Van Shrike,
a.k.a. Gay Perry.
Honest-to-God private eye,
consults in film, TV. Just incorporated.
Hes bigtime. Also, hes gay.
Dont start, Perry, huh?
I seen you play ball. Youre tough.
But you see a naked guy...
...your brain says, "I want that. "
I dont make that leap. Its like,
"Look, theres an elephant. Quick...
...lets drain its blood
to paint my boathouse. "
Its just that thats not the first thing
you think of.
L.A.
By now you may wonder
how I wound up here, or maybe not.
Maybe you wonder how Silly Putty
picks shit up from comic books.
Point is, I dont see another
goddamn narrator, so pipe down.
How did I get here? See for yourself.
Chloe, just run the name by me
one more time...
...because I must be
missing something.
Im going nuts.
Ive been through the store three times.
Cyber Agent. C-Y-B-E-
Why dont you ask...
- ... an employee or something?
- No, theyre all busy.
"Protocop, protector of man. "
Is that it? Protocop? He protects men.
Uncle Harry, look around.
There are signs.
That show was cancelled two years ago.
Just ask- Wait, are they even open?
Yeah, its holiday hours. Look-
Get away from the window.
- I gotta go, but Ill find this.
- Great.
- Shit, Harry, that shit went wrong!
- Give me the gun!
- No. Give me the bullets!
Freeze!
- You gotta be fucking kidding me.
- Well stand here and wait for the police.
Drop the gun. We didnt do anything.
We are not dangerous. Drop the gun.
- Hey, lady, gun is not loaded-
- Richie, no!
Richie!
Shit!
Oh, boy.
Take it easy.
Jesus. Oh, no, no.
Were not ready for you yet, sir.
- Go wait with the others.
- Grace, do me a favor, lets take him.
- Hes ready. Youre ready?
- Ready?
Okay, come on.
You know the setup?
Got any questions?
Hes got no questions.
Look at him. Lets go.
Lets read.
- Where is he? Wheres Raphael?
- Where is he?
Wheres-?
Beat up on me all night. You want me
to give up my partner, you can go spit.
Quit acting like the good guy,
jerk-off.
You got your partner killed.
He was in over his head,
you knew it.
You may as well
have pulled the trigger.
You killed him!
No, I didnt- I didnt kill him.
He wanted in.
Why-?
Why?!
I didnt want him to come in on it.
He insisted.
I said, "Stay at home. " But he doesnt
listen. Hes such a stupid son of a bitch.
I killed him, didnt I?
Oh, fuck, this is my fault. Im sorry.
Sorry.
Hey, good luck.
See, this is what Im talking about.
Old school. Method.
- Studio.
- Brando. Put this in the pouch to L.A.
Get Gay Perry on the phone.
Now, get this, theyre screen-testing me.
Is that wild?
One minute, Im boosting Xboxes
in the East Village...
...the next,
Im sipping champagne in L.A.
- Hi.
- Hey.
So, what do you do?
Im retired.
I invented dice when I was a kid.
- How about you?
- I do a little acting.
Im gonna see who else is here.
Anyway, thats how I got to the party.
Now, Harmony, different story.
Some will tell you she got here
on account of the giant robot.
Ill show you that in a minute.
But for me, robot-schmobot,
she was destined to be here.
Jeez, look at those stems, will you?
Not that thats what constitutes
why she should be here.
Yes, racist. Im serious.
The other reindeer laughed at him.
Then, out of the blue, they need him.
Hes as good as a fog light
or whatever.
You know what, so you tell me,
how is it any different than:
"Dont talk to Reggie, hes black.
Oh, wait, he can play basketball.
Sign him up. "
Rudolph, Reggie.
Harmony Faith Lane was your typical
L.A. girl, she wasnt from there.
She grew up in a burg
in southern Indiana.
"When in doubt, cut up a pig. "
That was the town motto.
Like most soon-to-be-fucked-up girls,
Harmony was wicked smart.
Of course, credit where credits due...
...she had a terrific mentor.
No, not her.
Him.
"Go to hell, Jonny Gossamer!
She poured herself
into a seamless dress.
From the looks of it,
she spilled some. "
Jonny spoke from the pages
of cheap paperbacks...
...and told of a promised land
known as "the Coast"...
...and a magical city
called Los Angeles.
As the years progressed,
she wished he was real.
Wished that he would come to Indiana
to save her little sister, Jenna.
