Dodgeball Script
Tired of the same old you?
Tired of being out of shape
and out of luck with the opposite sex?
Tired of being overweight
and under-attractive?
Yeah.
Oh, hello.
Im White Goodman, owner, operator
and founder of Globo Gym America Corp.
Im here to tell ya that you dont have
to be stuck with what youve got.
Hey, Rory. Looking good.
At Globo Gym we that understand "ugliness"
and "fatnes
Goodluck.
Dont screw it up.
A responsibility like this requires the obedience...
of a saint.
- Hi. - No.
- Were closed. - I know. Just one thing.
Guess what time it is?
- We close at midnight. - Dont send me away.
I know, please.
Youre an angel.
I couldnt look at Lettermans face for another second.
- Maam. - Im just...
Never marry a tow truck driver.
Okay.
I mean, you know, going out on calls is
Goodluck and good hunting.
willie, over here!
- Darling, Im so proud of you.
- Congratulations, willie.
I hope the Navy
makes full use of your abilities.
Perhaps I could help you
be placed somewhere else.
Goodluck for now.
Mother, Ill have to skip your party
tonight. The fellas are celebrating.
But the partys in your honour.
Your friends will forgive you.
You can call them from the house.
Ill s
Goodluck. - Okay, I wont.
Hey ! Say, Mike, take care of yourself. Goodluck to you.
- Kill a few for me too. - I will. Stay out of trouble.
[ Axel ] Hey, little killer.
Stevie ! Hey !
Hey, Axel, theres Stan. Stanley !
- [ Mike ] Stanley, you asshole. - Hey, Stan !
- [ Chattering, Laughing ] - Stan, its no use !
- Come on, Stosh. Youre beautiful now. - [ Laughter ]
[ Mike ] Youre still an ugly ba
good?
- No! - Really? Cause I think that kinda sums up--
- No! - Oh? Oh, sorry. Sorry.
Sometimes these catheters can pinch a little bit.
Well, thanks for listening. I really appreciate it.
Youve got a real gentle touch there, Doctor.
She wont be able to say no.
Actually, Im a nurse. Doctorll be right in.
[Chattering]
Goodluck, Greg. Thanks, Kim. Goodluck, buddy.
[School Bell Ringing]
Okay, its
goodluck
with the F.D.A.
Luck is for the ill-prepared.
- Cars waiting out front.
- Thank you.
l had them check
the traffic reports.
And the big dweeb?
He and Mr. Banes will
meet you downtown. Goodluck.
ln testing the drug on chimpanzees
with a history of miscarriages...
l found conclusively that in every
instance the side effects observed...
were consistent with the behavioral
and metabolic cha
Goodluck!
- Break a leg.
Break a leg.
Taxi!
Hey, Leitner!
Up here!
Sorry. I shouldve
warned you about Rosebud.
- I use it to scare off burglars.
- I can believe that! Wow!
- Come on in.
- Wow. That is great.
Oh, my God!
- Song of the Succubus.
- Thats right.
Planet of the Female Mummies.
- Youve done your homework.
- Yeah... Oh, God!
Blood in the Basement.
- Careful of that.
- Sorry.
- I Dismemb
Eyes Of Laura Mars Script
- Goodluck tonight, Miss Mars.
- Thank you, Tommy.
You are perfect.
- How is it in there?
- Too early to tell.
- Were about to be clotheslined.
- By whom?
Sheila Weissman.
Miss Mars, Im Sheila Weissman.
I remember you. How are you?
We agreed that interviews
would be done inside the gallery.
I want to ask her if she knows
how offensive her work is to women.
- Cute.
- Let
Loser Script
-This might be it, Paul. Goodluck.
-Thanks.
Oh, boy. lt sure is thick.
lm in.
See, your brothers smart.
Hes smart. Are you as smart
as your brother? l think so.
We are so proud of you.
A full scholarship!
Plus a meal plan.
First one ever in our family.
Of course, he was
reading Archie at .
Hey, hey. Thats for Paul.
-Take this.
-Grandpa, no. l cant.
No, no. You dont know the city.
Ev
Guarding Tess Script
Breakfast.
Im going.
I thought Id say goodbye.
Gentlemen, again, all the best.
Take good care.
Goodluck and goodbye.
Its been fun.
Here you go, sir.
- Thank you.
- Youre welcome.
Im here to see
the director of the Secret Service.
Okay. Thanks.
Is there anyplace
where I could put my bags?
Over there.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
Congratulations, Doug. Youve done
a terrific job on a t