Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Screenplay Graham Chapman
John Cleese
Terry Gilliam
Eric Idle
Terry Jones
Michael Palin
Produced by Mark Forstater
Directed by Terry Gilliam
Terry Jones
Cast List:
Graham Chapman King Arthur
Hiccoughing Guard
Three-Headed Knight
Neil Innes The First Self-Destructive Monk
Robins Least Favourite Minstrel
The Page Crushed by a Rabbit
The Owner of a Duck
Terry Jones D
king
And its known me in hell
And in heaven as well
Pooled by an
old gold ring?
My sudden change
in circumstance...
was not the only reason
for my departure.
The italian coast in summer
attracts the rich and famous.
Im infamous and poor.
Close enough.
One door closes,
another opens.
Sometimes that door is
not the one you expect.
I saw my chance and
decided to take it.
Meg, dear. Come along.
Come
king and entering, vandalism, resisting arrest.
- Anything else I should know? - I robbed a few banks.
Im glad you were only out three days.
Did you miss me, Dwight?
Was Perry with you?
Perry who?
Dont play.
Dont be a bonehead. I hate telephones...
...and I spent minutes talking...
...to police and that adventure park, trying to keep you clean.
We were lucky this time. I kept you out of court.
Yo
king-Christ!
Husband...
is she gonna find
a husband?
Oh...
I see men in your life.
Oh...
I also see women.
Lots and lots
and lots of women.
Oh...
lets get out of here.
The gods did not choose
Sissy Hankshaw
for her thumbs per se,
but rather for the use
that she would make of them.
Hitchhiking would become
her customary mode of travel.
Hitchhiking would become,
in fact, her way of life...
a callin
king fun of my cooking.
- This must be homemade.
- Oh, Dad.
Though we sometimes celebrate
odd things at Mercury...
like the day the Italians invented rubber.
Which they didnt, of course.
But thats beside the point.
Where exactly is Drew, anyway?
Weve contained magic in a shoe!
It was meant to approximate
walking on a cloud.
Hey, if you ever need anything
around here...
Im your girl.
Any true stud
King Urinal! Go rot!
- The quarrel is between our masters. - And us their men!
Hubble, bubble, toil and trouble!
And I am a pretty piece of flesh!
I am...
..a pretty piece of flesh!
- Here comes of the house of Capulet! - Quarrel, I will back thee.
Huh?
- Boo!
I will bite my thumb at them, which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it.
Go forth! I will back thee!
- Do you bite your thumb at us, si
Erik the Viking
Screenplay by Terry Jones
Produced by John Goldstone
Directed by Terry Jones
Cast List:
Tim Robbins Erik
Mickey Rooney Eriks Grandfather
Eartha Kill Freya
Terry Jones King Arnulf
Imogen Stubbs Princess Aud
John Cleese Halfdan the Black
Tsutomu Sekine Slavemaster
BLACKNESS
Flames begin to lick upwards from the bottom of the screen. Suddenly all hell breaks loose. Screaming, yellin
King beating.
The twelve jurors in the trial of the four white officers...
have just returned with a verdict...
after deliberating for several days.
The four officers accused of assaulting Rodney King...
are on the way to the courthouse here in Simi Valley...
along with their lawyers.
As soon as they get here, the judge will call the jury...
back into the courtroom...
and the clerk will
ERIK THE VIKING - Terry Jones
---------------
Blackness.
Flames begin to lick upwards from the bottom of the screen.
Suddenly all hell breaks loose. Screaming, yelling. Black figures flash
across the foreground, with the flames still burning behind.
There follows a confusion of burning, raping, killing and looting - we
dont clearly see whats going on.
Suddenly we cut to the interior of a hut. The
king, yeah. At Madame Zemas.
Tonight.
Here comes the Grand Marshal, Tony Danza!
Im doing last-minute fundraising. Im almost there.
Juniors coming. I can hear him. He wants to see you now.
- "Were waiting for you at Zemas." - Im not well yet.
Better to show up light than not at all. Get the lead out.
Dont be a kid-hater. Santas kids. Thank you.
- Who are Santas kids? - Santas kids are everywhere!